The idea is wonderfully romantic: two strangers see each other “through a crowded room”, there is an instant attraction, a spark jumps and … suddenly they feel like they have found someone special. Is love at first sight possible? New scientific evidence suggests that it does exist.
In a world where dating often takes a lot of effort – often accompanied by disappointment, rejection, and uncertainty – falling in love at first sight has great appeal.
Around us we surely know many stories that fit with love at first sight. A study carried out in 2004 (E. Naumann) suggested that approximately 60% of people have experienced it at some time. But was it really love at first sight?
Scientists rarely study love at first sight empirically, but new research from the Netherlands offers evidence to support this phenomenon. The experts asked nearly 400 men and women to complete surveys of potential romantic partners immediately after meeting those people for the first time.
This included indicating their agreement with the statement, “I am experiencing love at first sight with this person,” as well as reporting how physically attractive they found the person in question and how much passion (i.e., sexual attraction) they felt upon seeing them. . The data collection was dispersed in three contexts : online; in the lab (where photos of potential mates were shown); and in person (where people saw each other face to face). These were the results:
1. Love at first sight is not a memory bias
We experience love at first sight the moment we meet a person. This is a strong initial attraction that could later develop into a relationship. The argument from skewed memories, creating the illusion of having fallen in love with each other instantly, is not an appropriate explanation for all cases of love at first sight.
2. You are more likely to feel love at first sight with beautiful people.
In this study, participants were more likely to report having experienced love at first sight with physically attractive people; in fact, a higher ranking for attractiveness on the scale the researchers used corresponded to a 9 times greater likelihood that others would report that electric sensation of love at first sight.
3. Men feel love at first sight more often than women.
Researchers are not sure why this happens, but it requires more investigation. Could women be less inclined to this experience because they are more selective, as other studies have shown?
4. Love at first sight is not usually mutual.
A comparison of the participants’ reports showed that it is generally a one-sided phenomenon; This suggests that instant shared love is not very common. Researchers suspect, however, that a partner’s intense initial experience could help shape the other person’s memory, displacing it toward the belief that he or she also experienced love at first sight.
5. Love at first sight is not really “love”
The kinds of qualities that are known to reflect love, intimacy, commitment, passion, are not particularly strong in the first few moments when people claim they fell in love at first sight. At least, these emotions are not experienced to the same extent that people with established relationships do.
In short, science favors romantics. Love at first sight exists, but it is not so much “love” or “passion”, but a strong attraction that causes people to be particularly open to the possibilities of a relationship.
Referencia: Zsok, F., Haucke, M., De Wit, C. Y., & Barelds, D. P. (2017). What kind of love is love at first sight? An empirical investigation. Personal Relationships, 24, 869-885. DOI: 10.1111/pere.12218
