When the holidays arrive we abandon all our usual activities: it is a time for rewards and rewards, but at the same time it is a time when the couple has to share much more time and space, with which it is important to know how to adapt, on both sides to that new situation. Spending more time with the partner is not a necessary or sufficient condition for the relationship to be destroyed, but the change in routines and new situations can bring to light differences and conflicts that remained more or less hidden or ignored.
Once the holidays are over, it is time for the analysis and evaluation of the experience. If in the couple we have seen possible defects, of which we were previously ignorant, it will be necessary to consider how they are, for us, lines that we are willing or not to negotiate. Dialogue and constructive communication is essential , showing what we interpret as aspects to improve on the part of our partner so that they can give us their vision and opinion on the matter.
Something that we must also bear in mind that we must accept the other person and all their values, both positive and negative. As a line of action I would suggest:
– Choose a time when both members are emotionally relaxed.
– Evaluate individually, on a scale from 0 to 10, the idea that was had prior to the vacation experience, and the subsequent rating once said experience, where 0 would be the most negative view and 10 the most positive. This will give us a personal measure of the interpretation of the shared vacation period.
– Indicate positive aspects of what the experience has been , and later indicate explicitly and justifiably our disappointment, without leaving any doubts about another possible interpretation of the words.
– Explain clearly that what is exposed is a personal point of view about a specific behavior, not about the person.
– Make the other person see that the human is fallible, that he is wrong, and that is applicable to both one and the other member.
Sebastián Mera, member of Saluspot and psychologist at the Sebastián Mera Psychological Cabinet.
