We often hear that “opposites attract” when we refer to the choice of partner. People with different characters have more fruitful relationships. It is a popular saying. However, a new study carried out by researchers at Wellesley University in Massachusetts and the University of Kansas (USA) has revealed that this happens rather in reverse: couples who are more like-minded are the ones who they really survive in the long run.
The experts recruited a total of 1,523 couples (regardless of whether they were romantically involved or whether they were female or male pairs) and asked each of them to complete a short survey on their personality traits, attitudes, values , recreational activities … as well as their consumption of alcohol and drugs.
With these data, the researchers calculated the percentage of similarity between them according to certain important aspects of couple relationships , such as closeness, intimacy, and relationship time, discovering that the frequency of these variables reached 86%.
After monitoring the study volunteers, they determined that 23% had contact with their “partner” again and that this percentage had precisely presented a high level of compatible characteristics or similarities in the questionnaire.
According to the researchers, the forces that compel us to create social circles with like-minded people may be much stronger than previously believed: “We are arguing that the selection of other people similar to ourselves is extremely common , so common and so extended in so many dimensions that it could be described as a psychological defect ”, says Angela Bahns, leader of the study.
The reason we are attracted to people with similar tastes or personalities, either as friends or as a partner, could be because, deep down, we realize that most people are not capable of change. Anything that upsets the harmony of a relationship, like disagreements over basic values or preferences, is likely to continue to cause problems down the road. Choosing a person with our same goals and needs would avoid the possibility of condemning the couple, according to this work.
The study has been published in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology .
