The secret to having a happy sex life in our long-term relationships lies in believing that sexual satisfaction as a couple is something that requires work and effort , according to a study published recently in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology by a group of psychologists from the University of Toronto (Canada).
However, it is not uncommon to find people who believe the opposite: that sexual satisfaction will come without more if we have found what we consider our true better half . Hollywood is one of the factors that have influenced us when it comes to nurturing the belief in that “soul mate” concept.
This Canadian study, in which some 1,900 people –heterosexual and homosexual– participated, goes on to say that people who believe in the need to work on sexual growth, to meet people are more likely to have a happy and long-lasting sexual life. the couple and to know himself, to experiment, than those who limit themselves to trusting in fate and in that by the mere fact of believing that they have found their soulmate, everything will work well in the bedroom from the beginning.
“People who believe in sexual growth not only believe that they can work on their sexual problems, but they do not allow them to affect their satisfaction with their relationship,” explains Jessica Maxwell, a doctoral student in the department of Psychology of the Faculty of Arts and Sciences.
According to Maxwell, there is a honeymoon phase that lasts two to three years and in which sexual satisfaction is high both in those who believe in sexual growth and in those who, by trusting that they have found their soul mate , they think everything should work fine. However, the benefits of belonging to the first group become much more apparent after this initial phase, when sexual desire can begin to fluctuate.
“We know that sexual disagreements are inevitable over time,” says Maxwell. ” Your sex life is like a garden, and it needs to be watered and nurtured to maintain it,” adds the director of the study.
Interestingly, although women are more likely to consume romance and soulmate stories in the world of literature, film, or music, the study explains that they are at the same time more likely to believe that sexual relations as a couple, in a long-term relationship, they are something that requires effort .
