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Children who do not know how to play alone: why and how to promote autonomous play?

Play is essential in the development of your child. Through play, your brain can create neural connections that will allow it to acquire cognitive processes that are essential for its growth.

Also, understand the world around him , symbolize concepts and repeat experiences, even giving them meaning or closure.

That is why it is very important to understand that gambling is not a waste of time in any way, quite the opposite; It is one of the most useful tools that your child has.

“Playing for a boy and a girl is the possibility of cutting out a piece of the world and manipulating it to understand it.”

-Francesco Tonucci-

Why doesn’t my child play alone?

It is quite common to hear moms and dads with this doubt, and even feel a little overwhelmed by the constant demand for their child’s attention when playing.

If this happens to you, it is normal that you feel overwhelmed by the circumstance , but do not worry, here we will help you understand why your child does not know how to play alone and more importantly, what you can do to help him be more independent.

Keep in mind that there are several factors that play an important role in the fact that your child demands your presence to play all the time. During certain stages of life this is expected to happen, so age is decisive.

When children are very young, the presence of mom or dad is necessary during the game, mainly for prevention reasons , to prevent them from hurting themselves.

During this period it is normal for the child to entertain himself a bit with his toys, but every so often he seeks your presence.

“Boys and girls do not play to learn, but they learn because they play.”

-Jean Piaget-

What if he grows up and doesn’t play alone?

If your child has already passed this stage and still needs you to be present to play and interact constantly with him, you need to consider that there are different types of personality traits.

So while some children are very outgoing, others tend to be introverted, and there is nothing wrong with that.

However, having to be present all the time during your child’s play can be very exhausting, in addition to affecting your schedules and the performance of your daily activities, so it is important to help him learn to play alone.

Playing alone, a must

Beyond a matter of convenience for parents, solitary play is essential for children’s development , because through it they learn to make decisions, determine what they like and what they don’t like, and even get to know each other a little. better.

So, playing alone is very important, as much as playing with other people (whether they are adults or their peers). If your child has a hard time playing alone, don’t worry, there are several things you can do to help him through the process.

Your child knows how to play alone, what happens is that sometimes we adults confuse solitary play with loneliness and we create misconceptions in our children. Playing alone does not mean that you will be in a locked room with no one around.

Teaching him to play only implies that he can be playing close to other people but without needing their constant intervention within the dynamics of the game.

How to help my child play alone

There are a few things you can do to help your child play alone without any hassle. You must bear in mind that it is a gradual process that requires time and above all, a lot of perseverance on your part.

It is normal that you feel bad when starting the process of helping him to be more independent (it is generally more difficult for us adults than for children), but always keep in mind that everything will be for your child to develop, grow and be happy.

So what can you do? Some ideas to get started:

Play by his side, not with him

Encouraging your child’s solo play takes time. There is no magic formula for him to stop asking you to play with him.

One of the most effective strategies is to keep playing by his side, but not with him (parallel game) (or being with him, doing other things, while playing).

That is, accompanying him while he plays in the same room , but doing something else. Also, explaining that mom or dad have to do some chores and that when they finish, you are going to play for a little while together.

For example, if he wants to play coloring, let him draw something while you do another task somewhere else, but nearby.

Don’t solve everything

It is very common for children who find it difficult to play alone ask for help from mom or dad to do things. If your child insists that you do something that he can do alone, you can return that request in the form of a question: how would you do it?

Or: can you teach me how to do it? In this way, you will begin to familiarize yourself with the feeling of being in control of what you do and can begin to make decisions of your own.

Take care of the time and place

It is very important that you limit your child’s play area, and that the entire house is not their playground. You can use a rug or decorate a specific space so that he can play.

Helping your child be more independent doesn’t mean you don’t play with him more. Reserve some moments of the day to share together and strengthen the emotional bond.

“The playful world of children is as real and important for them as for adults the world of work. So we must grant him the same dignity ”.

-Bruno Bettelheim-

If your child has difficulty playing alone, the most important thing is that you understand that there is nothing wrong with him , nor have you done anything wrong.

We are all different, we learn and develop in different ways. Accompany your children with much love and remember to treat yourself with the same love and respect as your little ones.

Photos | Cover (pexels), Image 1 (pexels), Image 2 (pexels), Image 3 (pexels),

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