In Babies and More we have talked on different occasions about gifted or highly capable children, explaining in detail some aspects of their personality, how to motivate them at school and the importance of identifying them early.
But this is not an issue that should only be addressed from an academic point of view, but also from an emotional point of view, which corresponds mainly to parents. Therefore, and based on my personal experience, I share with you what you can do (and what not) to support your son or daughter if they have high capacities or are gifted .
My experience with high capacities
Although talking about motherhood and maternal mental health is something that is easy for me, talking about my personal experience with giftedness is not so easy. In the multiple sessions that I have had with my psychologist, we have discussed how the famous impostor syndrome is constantly haunting me, leading me to believe that I am a fraud, especially since I discovered that I had high abilities shortly before my 30th birthday .
Therefore, this writing is not about my experience with a gifted son, but about my own personal experience of my childhood days, in which I always knew that there was something strange about me, but I never knew what it was , until decades later and with the help of therapy everything made sense and I understood so many things.
Now that I have finally gotten an answer to this, I have thought a lot about this whole topic and although there are many tips on how to help gifted or gifted children, most come from the point of view of psychologists or professionals, and very few from the perspective of the child in question .
And it is that although my parents always knew that I stood out for my intelligence, maturity and academic and emotional performance in certain aspects, at the time they did not talk much about these issues, and they did not always know how to support me .
That is why I decided to share from my experience and the needs that I had as a child, some advice for those parents who create or have a gifted child. Because understanding and respect are the key to helping them navigate this characteristic, which is not always easy to live with .
What you can do
As I mentioned in the previous section when sharing my experience, understanding is essential to be able to help the child with high capacities or giftedness. Many people believe that gifted children know everything, but they actually need a lot of support from those around them .
These are the things you can do if you think your son or daughter is gifted or has high abilities :
Explain that each person is unique
Having high abilities is not easy, and I am not just referring to the fact that we process things differently from others. Being a gifted child can make your children feel strange or misunderstood, and many of them even think that there is something “wrong” with them .
For this reason, it is extremely important to work on the aspect of his way of being, explaining that each person is unique, and that the fact of not being equal to others does not mean that there is something wrong with him. Teach him to embrace and accept those things that make him unique and special .
Help him manage his emotions
Another aspect that can be considered negative in children with high capacities is that it is common for them to have a tendency to get frustrated or bored. It is common that in addition to having high capacities, many of them have high sensitivity (as it is in my case), so helping them manage their emotions is key so that they are and feel better.
Support their passions
For some parents, knowing that their child is gifted they take it as something that is only academic, however, high abilities do not necessarily have to do only with grades or academics .
Each boy or girl is totally different, and there will be those who stand out more on the artistic side than on the intellectual side . The important thing here is to help you identify your passions, and later, support you in following them.
Be patient
Having high abilities or giftedness does not mean that children are mini-adults or that they already know everything. For them it is also difficult to navigate this path , so being patient with them and towards them is important so that they feel understood and accompanied.
What you must not do
We already talked about what we can do, which are mainly actions that are based on much-needed understanding and support. Now, here are some things you should definitely not do if your child is gifted or has high abilities :
Take it for granted that you know everything
A myth or mistaken belief about gifted children is that they know everything or that they will be talented or skilled in whatever they set their mind to. Nothing could be further from the truth: they don’t know everything and they need help .
Although children with high capacities have excel in academic areas and show high performance abilities or capacities in certain areas, each one of them is different , and while some excel in the intellectual, others will do so in the artistic or creative.
Demanding too much of him
Hand in hand with the previous point, some parents, when having children with high capacities or giftedness, believe that the best way to take advantage of or boost their capacities is by demanding more of them or by giving them a greater academic or educational load. Let us remember that although they show talent, they are still children .
Minimize your emotions
As I said in one of the previous sections, it is common for some children with high abilities to also have high sensitivity. These children tend to feel everything more intensely, so their emotions and ideas can overwhelm them and generate anxiety . Listen to him, support him, and let him know that his emotions are valid and matter.
In general, the best thing we can do as the parent of a gifted or gifted child is to show love, respect, and understanding . It is not always an easy path, but being together and putting the particular needs of each child first, everything will be easier.
Photos | iStock
In Babies and more | If intelligence does not understand gender, why are there fewer girls identified with high capacities than boys? Failure to identify high capacities in time could cause emotional imbalances and somatization in the child
