We don’t always eat when we are really hungry, but sometimes we do it as a way to “cover up” certain emotions, looking for an escape route from uncomfortable or unpleasant emotions that we don’t want to experience.
This is especially common among adolescents, a very inappropriate strategy that can lead to long-term physical and mental health problems.
Thus, we speak of emotional hunger, which involves using food to avoid an unpleasant emotion, fill a “void” or feel better, yes, without having a real physiological hunger (healthy hunger). In other words; It involves trying to satisfy an emotional need through food .
How to help adolescents differentiate between these two types of hunger? And how to help them find a healthier way of eating and managing their emotions?
Causes of emotional hunger: what leads us to eat like this?
First of all, it’s important to know what drives teens to eat this way, through their emotions and not from their actual physical needs.
Basically, what they want is to “run away” from their own emotions (or anxiety), looking for a way to channel them, that is, through food. Thus, what they seek is to manage something that is difficult for them to experience, such as:
- Anxiety
- Sadness
- Guilty feeling
- Nerves
- Unpleasant emotions in general (they have a low tolerance for them)
- They feel the need to “fill a void” (a feeling of internal emptiness, on an emotional level)
Consequences of emotional hunger
The long-term consequences of eating based on emotional hunger are undeniable for the physical and mental health of adolescents. Among these consequences, experts highlight:
- The appearance of a significant eating behavior problem , such as an eating behavior disorder (ED) (anorexia, binge eating disorder, bulimia…).
- The appearance of health problems (overweight or obesity).
- The increase in cases of anxiety and depression.
- Social isolation .
- Difficulties in resolving conflicts or managing emotions in a healthy way.
Emotional hunger: how to identify it and differentiate it from physical hunger?
Now that we know what causes emotional hunger and what complications it entails, it is important for our teenagers to learn to differentiate emotional hunger from physical , physiological or real hunger.
To do this, there are some guidelines that can help them and that they must take into account to make such a differentiation.
Differences between emotional hunger and real hunger
Actually, we talk about the differences between emotional and real hunger, which are:
- Emotional hunger is sudden , while physiological hunger is gradual and gradual.
- Emotional hunger is not satisfied by feeling full ; instead, physiological hunger ends by being satisfied.
- Emotional hunger is urgent ; instead, physiological hunger can be made to wait (it does not carry a feeling of “urgency”).
- Emotional hunger generates negative feelings at the end , while physiological hunger does not.
- Emotional hunger requires specific foods (we crave “X” type of food, usually caloric and/or ultra-processed food), while when we are physiologically hungry, we are open to different options.
How to manage emotions in a healthier way?
Succumbing to emotional hunger is an inappropriate emotional management strategy, leading adolescents to eat based on their mood rather than their actual physiology.
Therefore, it is important that they learn to change this strategy for healthier and more adaptive ones. How to help them, as parents, to achieve it? Some recommendations that we propose are:
Identify emotions, sensations and thoughts
The first step will be to help them identify their emotions, give them names, identify how they feel physically at that moment (what sensations they have), mentally (what thoughts come to mind) and emotionally (what emotions they feel).
Of course, the most important thing here will be the emotional part; What emotion are they experiencing, which leads them to have the feeling of “hunger”?
Identify triggers
The triggers of emotions, contrary to what is usually believed, are not the situations experienced, but how we interpret such situations (that is, the filter we use to interpret and analyze reality).
That our children learn to identify and recognize what triggers activated the emotions that they live in an uncomfortable way , which led them to eat through this emotional hunger, will help them become aware of what is happening to them in order to change it.
Generate more realistic alternative thoughts
On the other hand, it is important that your children learn to generate more realistic and objective alternative thoughts about their reality (those that make them interpret things in a certain way).
This will help them not to experience these emotions in such an uncomfortable and unpleasant way (no longer to feel such extreme emotions), which will decrease the probability of eating through this emotional hunger.
Find alternative emotional regulation strategies
On the other hand, they must also find alternative emotional regulation strategies ( for example: writing , sports, sharing what they feel with their loved ones, going to therapy, etc.).
Finding a solution to the conflict or learning to tolerate discomfort
Finally, and related to the previous point, we know that adolescents must find a solution to their conflicts, and on other occasions, they simply must learn to tolerate the discomfort they feel (an emotional regulation strategy that may be appropriate).
That discomfort will dissipate, but first, it must be transited . Avoiding experiencing it is what leads them to eat like this, and therefore, what feeds the vicious cycle.
Emotional hunger: how to accompany our children?
We have come across some emotional regulation strategies that can help adolescents get to know themselves better and channel their emotions in a healthier way, to prevent them from being carried away by emotional hunger.
But until they get there, our children must feel heard and understood, since reaching this unhealthy habit also causes them discomfort, and sometimes all they need is understanding. Thus:
- Validate their emotions when they are tempted to eat from that emotional lack; don’t judge them, just listen to them.
- Ask him openly; Is there something that worries you? Encourage him to differentiate that hunger from real hunger.
- Practice active listening; I’m sure there’s a lot he wants to tell you .
- Cultivate mutual trust and assertive and honest communication (he should feel that talking to you is a “refuge”).
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 1 (freepik), Image 2 (freepik)
