Surely you have heard of caregiver syndrome in people who care for the elderly or dependents, but what about fathers and mothers who must care for their children and who feel down and excessively tired?
They can also suffer from this syndrome, characterized by a lack of energy and sleep , irritability and a feeling of emotional exhaustion, among other symptoms.
Thus, they are symptoms that many fathers and mothers suffer due to everything involved in parenting, lack of time, work-life balance and all the effort invested in fatherhood and motherhood.
We talk in this article about the hidden stress behind pa/maternity , its causes and how to deal with these symptoms.
What is caregiver syndrome?
Caregiver syndrome is suffered by people in charge of caring for others, and is characterized by physical and psychological symptoms :
- Physical and mental exhaustion.
- Mind saturation.
- Stress.
- Irritability.
- In some cases, anxiety and sadness.
How did we get to this syndrome…
Carmen Hernández, researcher and PhD in Psychology from the URV of Tarragona, explains that when we are mothers it is very important to take care of ourselves and be well, since in a certain way the well-being of our children derives from ours .
But it is not easy to be well when we have the load derived from all those demands and responsibilities related to motherhood and parenting.
And if we add to that the society in which we live and how the reconciliation of family and work life is contemplated, stress and burnout are almost guaranteed.
Continuing with the opinion of the aforementioned expert, Carmen mentions the “invisible tasks” that we have to face as fathers and mothers, which can range from obligations at home to coordinating the activities of the children.
All this activates our cortisol (the stress hormone) and its levels increase, producing undeniable physical effects on our body, which also have an impact on our emotional well-being.
What causes the appearance of caregiver syndrome in motherhood and fatherhood?
We have talked about some factors that would facilitate the appearance of this syndrome in both fathers and mothers. But what else is behind it?
- Lack of sleep.
- Lack of time .
- Reconciliation of family and professional life.
- Housework.
- Taking care of children, with all the responsibilities that this implies.
- Wanting to spend quality time with them and not being able to.
According to experts, these are the most frequent sources of physical exhaustion and mental load that can end up leading to a true caregiver syndrome.
And it is that, it is not “only” about caring for and educating, but about thinking, planning, coordinating… All this, combining private, family, academic and/or professional life, etc.
What to do and what to think
And it is that, we have to think that among the tasks of fathers and mothers there is not only “what to do”, but also, “what to think and plan”. There are many responsibilities that end up increasing the mental load .
Thus, it is not only “doing X thing” (for example, leaving the house tidy), but “thinking about X things” (thinking that on Thursday the children have a party and that they have to buy a present, but first they have to go to see his grandmother and finish his homework, etc.).
We are therefore talking about the invisible tasks already mentioned, which according to experts are very difficult to quantify .
How to deal with caregiver syndrome?
If you think you might be suffering from caregiver syndrome, it is very important that you start taking care of yourself and prioritizing yourself, to the extent that your life, your children and your circumstances allow.
Here are some ideas that can help you:
- Give yourself moments of respite, prioritize your rest.
- Practice good sleep hygiene to achieve restful sleep.
- Maintain a healthy and balanced diet .
- Find a time a day for yourself (either to read, go to the movies, take a relaxing bath…).
- Take care of the relationship together, if there is one.
- Ask for help from family and friends.
- Learn to trust and delegate the tasks you can.
- Seek professional help if you feel you need it, both domestically and psychologically.
Learn to let go and trust
According to experts, it is often difficult for us to let ourselves be helped because we feel the need to control everything . That is why it is important to trust, let go and delegate, since we are not just “dads” or “moms”, but much more than that. Let yourself be taken care of, you deserve it!
And remember that it is not essential that you control everything; For this, it may be useful to identify what is in your power and what is not, that is, what you can control and what not.
Can you control or manage X things? So go ahead, identify the best plan for it. What are some things that are not? Well start to let go ; you do not need control of everything, only those essential things.
Final reflection
If you feel that you are on the verge of caregiver syndrome, or that you already have it, it is important that you start to focus on yourself.
We know that this is not easy because motherhood is demanding, but remember that you are also important and deserve care and well-being.
In this sense, we encourage you to carry out an introspection process that allows you to identify what provides you with well-being and how to obtain it, and also, that you can make the determination that you deserve that well-being, putting yourself to work to achieve it.
“Don’t forget that the caregiver also deserves to be cared for.”
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 1 (freepik), Image 2 (pexels)
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