You hear it over and over again: “The French are so rude!” Before setting foot in France, you hear the horror stories of the rude French waiters making fun of anyone and everyone. Heard from smug Parisians who refuse to give instructions or simply from Frenchmen in general who make fun of Americans.
The truth is that not only are most French people you meet completely civil, downright friendly and kind, but they go out of their way to help you. If you’ve ever been to New York City, another city with a reputation for hardened and evil residents, you’ll actually find New Yorkers leaning back trying to interpret foreigners who can’t speak English. It is the same in France.
The stereotype
So when you go to France for the first time, it is almost as if you wait and prepare for a rude experience. You might even be looking for it. Sure, you’ll find nasty people there (and everywhere), but it’s the exception, not the rule. Don’t travel with prejudice; treat everyone as you would at home and you will have a great holiday in France.
The funny thing about stereotypes is that they can feel comfortable, especially when you are used to them. Some French even try to adapt to the stereotype. For example, there is a brewery near the Ecole Militaire in Paris called Thoumieux in the 7th arrondissement (district). It is quite charming and of great value, all decked out as a Parisian brasserie should be. It had a tough reputation: the waiters barked at you, handed you the menu without smiling, and took your order in wooden silence. They did this to everyone.
Not just tourists. It was the modus operandi. You got used to it and it became a game trying to make the waiter relax or smile. Sometimes it was successful. Interestingly, in 2013, France launched a charm campaign to erase the perception that the French are rude. The waiters there were trained to say basic greetings like bonjour or bonsoir with a smile and listen to what you were saying. The experience at Thoumieux changed. It was not the same. Restaurant guests missed their grumpy, but genuine, waiters.
Give charm to get it back
It is not a deep secret. If you want to be treated fairly, kindly and with respect, give it in kind. There are some tips to follow (just as you would anywhere else in the world).
Make a try in French
Try trying to speak French. Simply saying: «Bonjour! Parlez-vous Anglais? » (pronounced bon-jouha, pah-lay vooz ahn-glay) can do wonders. It means “hello. Speak English?” Many French people who would feign ignorance suddenly speak fluent English if they tried.
Put yourself in their shoes. What would you think if a stranger came up to you and spoke French in your hometown and expected you to respond in their language? It can be perceived as rude or presumptuous.
Start with a greeting
Be sure to greet strangers with “Bonjour” before launching into other requests. In France, it is considered rude to just walk around and start talking without saying hello first. Every time you visit a foreign land, it is important to learn about the cultural differences. Many times, if a French person reacts rudely, it is because they may have done something that their standards consider extremely rude. Get to know French culture and etiquette (they invented the word) before you go to avoid misunderstandings.
Calm down
The French are very quiet people in public (although when they are excited or excited about something they can accelerate the decibels). For example, imagine the distraction of a group of tourists breaking into a restaurant, yelling at each other, running around the restaurant taking photos of customers, and generally being rude. This noisy behavior is notable in France, where people are more discreet. Loud interruptions like this can ruin the relaxed atmosphere of a restaurant dinner.
