Parenting can be precious, but it is also demanding. Educating, caring, being an example, teaching, listening , supporting … are just some of the things that raising a child entails. And although we do them with all our love and desire, they are not always easy tasks. Moreover, these are things that can exhaust us, and it is normal.
And more, if parenting is combined with work, housework… When this happens, and the exhaustion is already extreme, a symptom such as irritability may appear; the fact of “jumping to the minimum”, of bothering us for anything…
And this causes us to do things that may make us feel bad, like yelling at our children. And above all, it prevents us from enjoying the parenting process as we really would like. We tell you what is behind all this exhaustion and what things you can do to get out of this state little by little.
Parenting: an enriching stage but full of challenges
Parenting is a stage of life that can be really beautiful and enriching, full of challenges and first times.
However, it can also be really exhausting ; the children’s day-to-day, taking care of their routines, their diet, educating them so that they learn… and all this, while trying to reconcile our personal and work life. Which is not an easy task.
When exhaustion translates into irritability
Thus, we have to think that it is not only parenting, but work, the house, looking for time with the couple, etc. And it is normal that, due to so much stress, we end up exhausted.
And this exhaustion often translates into being more irritable, more sensitive or getting angry at the least. We speak of irritability when we refer to an emotional state in which a person has an explosive temper and is easily annoyed or angry.
As a consequence, little things can lead to hostile reactions (for example, yelling at family or friends).
In this way, it is not that we are angry, but that exhaustion ends up making us feel more irritable, and it is something totally normal.
The burnout syndrome: when we can’t take it anymore
When this tiredness translates into physical symptoms (anxiety, muscle aches, fatigue, sleeping problems…), cognitive symptoms (difficulty concentrating, for example) and emotional symptoms (sadness, irritability…), and all of this is prolonged in time, then it is likely that we suffer from burnout syndrome.
We are talking about a syndrome that has its origin in the field of work , but that can perfectly be established in the field of raising and caring for children, since it has the same characteristics, and its origin in stress itself.
How do we know if we suffer from burnout syndrome?
When it comes to knowing if we suffer from this syndrome, it is important that we pay attention to our symptoms. And to its duration. And also, that we observe if we are isolating ourselves from our environment , an also common symptom.
However, even if we do not suffer from the syndrome itself (also, remember that it is not an official diagnosis), we may still feel exhausted, and that as a result of that the irritability that we mentioned arises.
In these cases, it is important that we take action on the matter and that we begin to take care of ourselves and seek help in the environment. This is not always easy. How do we do it?
What can we do to take care of ourselves and improve this exhaustion?
1. Express what happens to you, share it
Remember that you are not alone in this (or at least, that you should not go through it alone). Communicate what is happening to you, that you are not angry, but exhausted. Explain why you think you feel this way , how you think they can help you…
2. Lean on your partner and your environment
Linked to the previous point, we encourage you to support yourself in your partner and in your environment. Don’t feel bad about asking for help, you don’t have to handle everything on your own.
Also, if you are in a relationship, remember that the other person has 50% of the responsibility for the upbringing; you don’t have to take it all on yourself.
3. Delegation
Delegate the tasks you can and don’t burden yourself with everything. Organize your time in such a way that, although you now see it impossible, you can download a little.
4. Let go of guilt
Surely the guilt has appeared on more than one occasion; guilt for not getting to everything, for feeling like a “bad mother” , for yelling at your children or your partner… However, guilt doesn’t help you. He begins to let her go, to question her.
And it is that, what can help you feel better is self-compassion; listen to yourself and recognize that it is normal for you to feel this way. Validate your emotions.
5. Do not try to be perfect and reach everything
As a mother, and more so if you are very self-demanding, surely on some occasion (or many) you have tried to be “the perfect mother”. Do it all and also do it well.
But that is impossible, and it is not even necessary for you to be the best mother in the world, because you already are. Try to let go of that self-demand little by little and begin to prioritize yourself, to seek help. To accept that sometimes you will be wrong, and that nothing happens.
6. Look for moments of self-care
Look for moments for yourself, to take care of yourself (although this will not 100% remove your exhaustion, it can help you). Not even 10 minutes a day. Take care of your food, your routines and your sleep .
And indulge yourself once in a while. Remember that you are important too. You deserve to self-reinforce from time to time!
7. Control yourself before exploding: use self-control techniques
It is normal that sometimes we feel overwhelmed, but we must try to avoid things getting out of hand. For this, learning to manage and control your emotions is important.
Certain self – control techniques may be helpful here . For example, when you feel like you’re going to explode, it can help to:
- Count to 10 (or 100 if necessary).
- Use breathing techniques (pay attention to your breathing, and make sure this is a conscious and calm breath ; inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth).
- Do not respond explosively.
- Reflect before going from 0 to 100 in a second.
- Take some time in the face of a conflict to think it through.
Photos | Cover (Freepik)
