For some years, I decided that instead of wanting to do everything and achieve everything, I would focus on being happy, including in my role as a mom . Peer pressure and comparisons can make us focus a lot on what we are or are not doing, it is whether it is worthy of merit or recognition … but in the end, what will really matter is having a life that has made us happy.
The latter is something that I want to transmit to my daughter, and that is why today I share a brief reflection, in which I try to explain why else teaching her to seek success, I want to teach my daughter to seek happiness .
What is success?
I cannot begin this reflection without first talking about success. What really is success? Surely each person to whom we ask what he considers a successful life will answer us something different , according to his upbringing, his beliefs and the personal goals he has.
It also depends on the stage of our life in which we find ourselves . Success can be for a college student to obtain his or her academic degree or degree with honors. For a writer, turning one of his books into a bestseller. For a worker, a recognition or promotion within your company. For some parents, perhaps, it is that their children get good grades.
It would really be very difficult to specify or determine what success is in general, although the Royal Spanish Academy defines it as “Happy result of a business, performance, etc.”, referring to success as something that came out the way we wanted , but mainly in work or similar things.
Sometimes we associate success with happiness, but the reality is that they are totally independent concepts . Being successful does not guarantee happiness, and sometimes the happiest people are not seen by others as outstanding or successful.
In summary, although the concept of being successful or being successful may be different for each person, sometimes as parents we focus on having successful children , something that on the one hand I consider very normal, because we dream of seeing them succeed and be good people.
A parenting focused on success
A few weeks ago, we were talking about intensive parenting, a parenting stream that is child-centered, focused primarily on academic success and preparing them for a professional future .
When I spoke about this type of parenting, which seems to be on the rise because many parents believe that it is the best role model for educating their children, I expressed my point of view, explaining that personally it would not be one that I could or would like to follow .
Mainly because I find that parenting focused on success can become stressful for everyone , requiring more time from parents and a lot of pressure on children. The result of this can be a life in which being considered successful academically and / or professionally becomes the most important thing, bringing extra pressure and stress.
And it is that, at least from my personal point of view, success is not the most important thing , nor is it the only thing we should teach our children to seek.
Happiness is more important than success
Do I want my daughter to be successful? Of course! But more than being successful, I want her to be happy. May you have a full life, full of satisfaction and free from regrets. I want you to grow up knowing that you have the freedom and ability to be whatever you want to be.
Sometimes, by focusing on reaching certain goals or being successful, we leave behind invaluable life opportunities or moments that will not return, because we are distracted thinking about the end result . But life is one, and it is very short. Seeing the positive side and focusing on being happy should be one of our priorities.
Of course, I am going to guide my daughter to make decisions that can help her achieve the personal goals that she sets for herself. But I also want her to be able to enjoy life , to stop to smell the flowers, to appreciate the little things that seem unimportant, but that leave us great pleasures.
It will be useless to be the first of her class, if she does not interact with her classmates or create friendships with which to share the good and bad moments. Or be a great, award-winning executive, if at the end of the day you feel empty or look back at your life and wish you had given yourself more opportunities to relax and enjoy yourself.
Raising our children to be successful in life is certainly something basic that we must do as parents, but we must never think that it is the most important of all . Because in the end, the only thing we regret is those things that we did not do or that we put aside to focus on obtaining merit or recognition.
For all this, and because life has taught me that it is better when there is a balance and we allow ourselves to relax, rather than teaching my daughter to seek success, I want to teach her to seek her happiness .
Photos | iStock
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