Does your child always forget things where they shouldn’t, or lose them? Is the jacket left at school? Do you forget to write down your homework, or what you have to prepare for the next day?
Surely it is because he is clueless (not distracted; when we talk about distraction we refer to difficulties in concentrating, and not so much to being forgetful).
If so, it may be because of their own way of being , or because they are not resting well, they lack routine and/or organization… The causes can be multiple. How can I help you reduce those oversights? We give you some keys.
My son is very clueless: possible causes
As we have seen, the causes of your child being very absent-minded or having trouble concentrating are multiple. Some of the most frequent, and that should be known, are:
- Lack of habits, organization or planning.
- He is worried about something.
- Accumulated tiredness or stress (due to little rest, excessive activities or overstimulation, etc.).
- Vision or hearing problems.
- Poor diet (it is important that the diet has the essential nutrients to maintain good quality memory)
- Nerves (being nervous we secrete a hormone that interferes with our ability to memorize, which is corticosterone).
- Attention deficit disorder (ADD), which may or may not be linked to hyperactivity (ADHD).
- Childhood depression.
How to help him?
Understand where those clues come from
As we have seen, in general, children who are clueless tend to be due to a set of factors , which include both environmental factors (habits, routines, rest, dynamics at home, etc.) as well as genetic and personality factors.
It may be that your child has always been clueless, or on the contrary, that you notice that suddenly, he is more clueless than ever.
For this reason, the first step that we recommend you to do is to discover where this confusion comes from; ask yourself, “Has it always been like this? Has there been a change in his behavior? Do you think he is worried about something? Is he okay at school? Has something happened at home, or in the family, or has something happened? major change in your life…?”
Knowing the causes of these oversights will help you to accompany him better. And if you think that just by observing you don’t quite understand where all this comes from, go ahead and openly ask him about it.
Take care of life habits: sleep and food
It’s important to make sure your child eats well and gets enough sleep and rest. Because it is important? Because physical exhaustion is one of the main causes of inattention in childhood.
And that is why if your child does not have enough energy due to not resting or not eating well, it is more likely that the next day it will be difficult for him to concentrate or he will get distracted more easily.
implement routines
Routines and planning help reduce confusion and, in addition, are very beneficial elements for children. Therefore, if you want to help your child to be less distracted, help him with routines. This will encourage them to become more involved in their day-to-day responsibilities and tasks, and above all, not to forget to do them.
You should know that when a routine becomes a habit, it is easier to do things automatically, and not “because we have to remember it”.
Therefore, by making this easy for your child, you can avoid having to always remind him what to do.
The tasks: anticipate them, fragment them and write them down
Another idea that can help you with your child is to anticipate tasks, obligations, reminders, etc., so that he has them in mind and is not caught off guard.
And once you know what you have to do (and that you have it clear, resolving doubts if necessary), fragment or divide the tasks into smaller tasks . Reduce them in steps and sequences (this will make it easier for you not to be so lazy to do them, for example).
And finally, write them down, either in your personal agenda, in your own notebook, etc., as a reminder.
remind him
And it is that the reminders will make it easier for your child not to forget something that he must take to school the next day, for example, or that he has to prepare sports clothes, etc. Use them for anything!
The idea is to gradually reduce these reminders over time (or have them do them themselves), to gradually encourage your child’s autonomy. But for starters, you can opt for very visual reminders, which often work very well:
- post it
- Notes in the diary
- alarms
- verbal reminders
- Use a planner or schedule and hang it on the fridge
Encourage him to use the agenda
The agenda is a resource that works very well when planning the week and not forgetting anything. Take advantage of your child’s agenda to encourage that memory!
To motivate him with it, you can dedicate an afternoon to decorate it and make him feel “more his”. The idea is to create the habit of writing things down and, above all, consulting them daily.
Make it easy for them: reduce distractions
Children who tend to get distracted often do not do well with environmental distractions. Therefore, avoid exposing him to additional distractions. How? Some ideas to start:
- Encourage him to keep the room tidy (keep toys in their proper place).
- Avoid turning on (or having him turn on) the TV while doing homework.
- Try to keep electronic devices such as tablets , mobile phones, etc., out of your field of vision when you have to do housework, homework, etc.
accept it as it is
Finally, despite everything that has been said, which can help, you should also bear in mind that there is an environmental part to being absent-minded (such as what we mentioned about accumulated fatigue or other factors), but also a genetic part.
That is, there are children who have this way of being, and it’s fine. For this reason, although there is a part that can be “worked on” (improving habits, for example), there is a part that you probably will not change, and that therefore implies accepting your child as he is.
Accepting their weak points and recognizing, above all, their strengths, and never acting from reproach or anger , but from love and understanding. Remember that empathy is essential.
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 2 (freepik), Image 3 (freepik), Image 4 (freepik), Image 5 (freepik)
