“I feel exhausted”, “I have no energy”, “it is impossible for me to work at home with the children” , “I can’t take it anymore”, “I need to disconnect”. Do you feel identified with any of these phrases? If so, you may be experiencing parental burnout .
And it is that, in the current world in which we live, in which we are required to reach everything, but we are not given the facility to do so, it is very difficult to be mothers (and fathers) without feeling that we are overwhelmed.
Thus, the fact of enjoying the process of motherhood or fatherhood as we deserve is also complicated , and the risk of developing this syndrome that we mentioned arises.
We tell you what parental exhaustion consists of, characterized by a feeling of constant fatigue and stress and difficulties in reconciling family and personal life, and we give you some ideas to identify it through nine symptoms or warning signs.
Burnout syndrome: what is it?
Burnout syndrome, literally translated as “burnt worker syndrome”, is a syndrome linked to stress caused by wear and tear at work. It encompasses three basic symptoms:
- The execution of tasks without direction or meaning, constant and repetitive (this generates a feeling of not being able to perform at its best and of wasting energy).
- Boredom, apathy and reluctance .
- Lack of commitment to work, disinterest.
Parental exhaustion: tiredness, responsibilities and difficulties in reconciling
However, although until recently this syndrome was only associated with the workplace, for some time now it has spread to the field of family reconciliation and motherhood and upbringing.
Thus, when the syndrome is linked to motherhood (or fatherhood), and to the difficulties in reconciling the parenting process and work , an intense exhaustion appears due to the process of mothering and raising, and more so in the current system that makes it so difficult to actual reconciliation.
And all this adds up to a feeling of chronic fatigue and stress, due to the high burden of responsibility involved in looking after the home, raising children, working outside or inside the house, also finding time for your partner and friends, etc.
In this syndrome (which is not an official diagnosis), physical (exhaustion), cognitive (difficulty concentrating) and behavioral (isolation) symptoms appear, which are linked to others such as estrangement from children or loss of pleasure in parenting .
Nine signs that you could suffer from burnout syndrome or parental exhaustion
We are talking about nine signs that indicate that you could be suffering from burnout syndrome or parental exhaustion . Which ones do you identify with?
1. Generalized physical and mental exhaustion
The most noticeable symptom of parental burnout is a generalized physical and mental exhaustion, a great feeling of fatigue and that “you do not reach everything”. Thus, on a physical level it is difficult to face day to day, but also on a mental level: it is difficult to concentrate, make decisions…
2. Decreased labor productivity
There is also a decrease in your productivity at work; Thus, even if you work the same hours as usual, you perform less (or if you work fewer hours, these are also less productive than before motherhood).
3. Demotivation and apathy
There is also a lack of motivation when it comes to working, mothering, raising or doing other day-to-day tasks (also those that used to give us pleasure), along with apathy (a state of lack of motivation or interest).
4. Indifference towards parenting or feeling that it “gets over you”
A feeling of indifference towards the parenting process may also appear, due to all that mental and physical fatigue . Or, a feeling that parenting is beyond us, that we can’t handle it (which makes it difficult, of course, for us to enjoy it).
5. Irritability
Irritability also arises, due to all this tiredness. Thus, we can be more susceptible, and that things that we did not care before, now affect us more than usual.
This is especially noticeable if we also have other children to care for, and deal with parenting issues such as tantrums, and more nighttime awakenings (which also influence sleep and make us even more irritable), etc.
6. Difficulty concentrating
Among the main cognitive symptoms of parental exhaustion are difficulties in concentrating (whether in parenting, at work…).
It is already known, a tired mind is a mind with difficulties to process information and to focus on certain stimuli (selective attention or concentration).
7. Emotional lability
Emotional lability also appears, which is the tendency to quickly and abruptly change emotional state (emotions) or mood.
8. Feelings of guilt or shame
Feelings of guilt or shame are also another symptom of parental burnout; whether it is guilt for “not reaching everything”, shame for feeling a bad father or mother (or a bad worker), for not meeting the expectations of parenting, etc.
9. Sleep disturbances
Sleep disturbances also appear, mainly three:
- Insomnia: difficulties falling asleep , staying asleep (frequent awakenings) or waking up early without the possibility of going back to sleep.
- Feeling of not resting well or not getting enough rest.
- Night awakenings.
What to do if I suffer from parental burnout
Do you think you meet most of these signs? If you think you might be experiencing parental burnout, it’s important that you share what’s going on with your loved ones and value the possibility of seeking professional help if the situation gets too much for you.
In addition, a psychologist can help you better identify these symptoms, as well as teach you more adaptive coping strategies in case yours are not working for you.
On the other hand, beyond asking for specialized help, it is important that:
- Value the possibility of delegating those tasks that you can delegate.
- Look for moments for you, to rest and disconnect.
- Lean on your loved ones; share how you feel and ask your family for logistical help if you feel like you can’t handle everything.
- Validate your emotions (it is normal that you feel this way with all the stress you are suffering); be compassionate with yourself.
- Also allow yourself to enjoy the good times of motherhood and parenting, a time that can also be wonderful.
- And if you have a partner, try to team up ; communicate how you feel and how you can support each other.
Photos | cover (freepik)
