Quarantine is, in theory, the period of forty days after delivery in which the mother recovers from the physical and emotional changes that occurred during pregnancy and birth. A return to normality, they say.
But in practice it is very different. The forty days immediately after delivery are just the beginning of postpartum, a stage in which the mother experiences profound changes , both physically and emotionally. It is unrealistic to say that forty days are enough to assimilate the new situation, therefore we can say that quarantine is a myth: postpartum lasts one year .
A more realistic postnatal
It is enough to observe the women in your environment after becoming mothers and add a dose of common sense to conclude that forty days is a very short time. It is not having a baby and nothing has happened here. It happens a lot.
Science has also noticed how important the puerperium is for the mother and the baby. A study by Dr. Julie Wray, from the University of Salford in England, ensures that the six-week recovery period is unattainable and mentioned that new mothers need at least a year to cover the entire postpartum period .
“Research shows that more realistic and woman-friendly postnatal services are needed. Women need much more than six weeks to recover and need to be supported beyond the current six to eight weeks after birth.”
In view of this research and the real needs of the mother and baby, maternity leave is unfair. Maternity leave in most countries is very, very far from those idyllic 52 weeks , except for specific cases such as Denmark, Sweden, Norway or Canada.
Meeting the baby
As you know, the baby develops in the womb for nine months. But at birth, it is not an independent or physically being (it will take 9 to 12 months to start walking), much less is it capable of looking for itself. He needs his mother to survive . She needs not only his food, but also his closeness, his contact, his warmth that reminds him of the months he lived inside the mother’s womb.
They are known as the second months of pregnancy or the pregnancy of the baby, that is, external gestation. Nine months after delivery, in which the baby needs to feel the warmth, protection and comfort that he felt inside his mother’s womb as he adjusts to extrauterine life .
This minimum of nine months is key so that both the mother and the baby can recognize each other, enjoy each other and establish a relationship of secure attachment. They have the right to do so .
Re-knowing yourself
From the moment we see our baby’s face for the first time, women are never the same again. Definitely being a mother changes your life . It changes our physique, our emotions and of course, our priorities. We stop being the people we were and we have to re-know ourselves as mothers . Our world begins to revolve around that little person who depends on us 24 hours a day.
From a physical point of view, there are a lot of changes to get used to, a new body that we have to learn to love with its mother’s imperfections. Stretch marks, marks and roundness that are now a mark of our motherhood.
From an emotional point of view, although the changes are not visible, they are much more profound. We live in a whirlwind of conflicting emotions , feelings that we have never experienced.
Unconditional love for the baby, a new dimension of the relationship as a couple, a different position in the family (you are no longer a daughter, you have become a mother), feelings of guilt (guilt begins to accompany you now that you are a mother), fear faced with new responsibilities, and probably insecurity, frustration and sadness at times. Thus, a mix of feelings that turn us into a Molotov cocktail of emotions about to explode. To deactivate it and recognize ourselves in our new role, we need time .
Adapting to the new rhythms
Just as the baby adapts to extrauterine life, in turn, the woman also has to adapt to her new life as a mother. The first forty days are the hardest. You survive as you can the nights without sleep, the fatigue of breastfeeding on demand all day (and night), the chaos we have at home …
It is in the following months when the mother really gets used to the idea of motherhood and the routines gradually settle down . Feeding and sleeping the baby set the pace once you become a mother, and of course, it is not a routine that is achieved from one day to the next. Even many times, when you thought that the sleepless nights were over and the baby starts to sleep all at once, the nocturnal awakenings return.
Now it is a baby who sets the rhythm of your daily life. You have to build a routine adapting to the needs of your baby . And guess what? This also takes time.
Returning to sex life
During the six weeks after delivery, the uterus returns to its normal size and position. It is normal to experience blood loss during this period when sex generally takes a backseat. But here, too, the forty days can fall short.
An arbitrary period cannot be established to say if the woman is ready to have sexual relations, since each one lives her own circumstances, which are obviously not only physical. It is something that the couple should discuss and begin when both feel physically and emotionally ready to resume sexual life.
It is a new stage for the couple, they are now parents and it is possible that their sexual life, as they knew it, will also change. It is one more adaptation that takes time, and of course, forty days is not enough to do it.
In Babies and more | Maternity leave should be more valued and respected, Nine things a mom wants postpartum
