It is difficult in these times of pandemic to make a decisive bet on the sense of touch. However, it is possible. It is fully compatible to give the role that corresponds to the skin in erotic encounters with maintaining physical distance in social contacts in order to avoid the contagion of covid-19.
In all erotic relationships, touch plays a primary role, with the exception of fantasies and some virtual practices, such as sexting . This role is not played exclusively in kisses, caresses or massages. Touch is just as important in the rest of the practices: oral sex, anal sex or intercourse, among others.
In penetration, for example, touch also comes into play. Sensations are perceived through the walls of the vagina or penis: heat, pressure, textures … But also this intercourse is not alien to the rest of the body and skin. It is not something that happens only between penis and vagina. It is caressed, hugged, kissed, touched and felt through the entire epidermis, the most superficial part of the skin.
According to the anthropologist Ashley Montagu in his book Touch, there are about fifty sensory receptors for every square centimeter of skin, with a total number of about 640,000 receptors spread throughout the body. In light of these data, science seems to indicate that Freud’s claim that “the whole body can be an erogenous zone” makes sense.
It is evident that all erotic relationships occur between two epidermis and all relationships can be an invitation to pleasure. The British sexologist Alex Comfort, in the introduction to his book The enjoyment of sex , affirmed the same with a metaphor: “All skin is a genital organ.” A good way, precisely, to degenitalize erotic encounters. From oriental philosophies and techniques such as tantra, it is proposed that “touch is not limited to seeking excitement, in the same way that it should not be limited to the fingertips”. This is how Isabella Magdala, a psychologist, sexologist and tantra specialist, tells it, who goes on to say that “touch is the bridge to awareness; as it is touched, and is touched, the connection with oneself and with the other person increases. […] It is not simply a bodily exchange, it is the bond that is generated through that contact ”.
According to this approach, any part of the body should be part of the experience. Therefore, do not limit yourself to touching with your hands, or a specific area. “It is important to be in the present, in the here and now,” emphasizes Magdala, who also proposes “touching and perceiving in a completely conscious way, without pretense or objectives, just for the enjoyment of feeling.”
It is easy to associate touch with Tantra, but touch has a similar presence and importance in other alternative sexualities, apparently very far from this sense, such as those that are included in the acronym BDSM -bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism-. Patricia Díaz Saco, sexologist and specialist in shibari, an erotic practice where ropes and ties have a great role, also points to touch as the great sense in all these practices.
“The touch of the strings is not important – says Díaz -; if that were the important thing, it would be enough to throw the ropes over the person ”. Touch, in shibari, is communication. When you touch, you check how the body is and recognize the reactions of the other person, as well as the little flinches that escape the eye. The whole body is always acted upon, understanding the body as a whole, because even if it seems that an arm is moving, it is the whole body that responds ”.
Touch is also at the base of some of the techniques that are used. “Touch allows touching, grasping, caressing and, depending on the responses, modulating in search of muscular activations. In addition, certain ties can cause hypersensitization. Which allows to explore many new sensations, and all derived from touch. Ultimately – Diaz concludes – everything is communication; they are two bodies interacting, and the body does not lie. The strings are a support, the touch is essential ”.
However, it is important to remember that not everything is nerve endings. It is true that without them there is no sensitivity, but it is also true that for pleasure or pleasant sensations to arise, it is essential that the stimulation is perceived as pleasant. With all that there can be subjectivity in it. The same type of stimulation can be experienced very differently depending on the people and the context in which it takes place.
But, in addition, not even the receptors and adequate stimulation are enough; it also takes desire. A desire that combines what, who, how and when. But that has to be lived in the first person and without a hint of imposition. From there, welcome are the touch, the hands, the skin, the tongue, the lips, the genitals, the arms, the breasts, the feet … and all their possible combinations.
Ang Lee filmed the movie Sense and Sensibility in 1995, and those same two words provide two good conclusions about touch. Meaning: “Ability to recognize the surrounding reality and to relate to it”. And sensitivity: “Faculty of feeling, of experiencing sensations produced by external or internal causes.” In other words, since touch is inevitable, the focus must be on the whole body and on the multiple sensations.
From there, each one is choosing and agreeing.
