We adults live in a fast-paced world. The whirlwind of everyday life, the responsibilities and the unforeseen events that always arise end up engulfing us in a thunderous way, forcing us to activate the ‘automatic pilot’ from the moment we get up until we go to bed. And so, day after day we feel that time is slipping through our fingers without even being aware of it.
Perhaps, one of the great problems of living fast is that we transfer that “immediacy” to our children. Not in vain, according to Diana C. Jiménez, psychologist, educator in Positive Discipline and creator of Childhood in Positive and Adolescence in Positive, “many parents complain that their children want everything and they want it now” .
For the expert, educating in responsibility, values and commitment is more difficult every day, and she talks about it in “Parents at work”, a combination of a play and a conference in which she participates together with the psychologist specializing in families, Alejandro Schujman .
We have spoken with Diana Jiménez about the era of immediacy and its impact when it comes to educating and raising our children: how does it influence and what can we do as parents?
Why do our children want everything and want it now?
How many times have we had the feeling of living without “savoring” life ? How many times have we said that “I wish the day had more hours to be able to get to everything” ? How many times do we experience the sensation of living on board a high-speed train, without knowing where we are going?
“We live installed in a hurry and in a society that only values the final result of the task, losing sight of the process of its execution. The era of immediacy makes us slaves of time . Perhaps we thought that speed would allow us to do more things, but under this “self-delusion” we are living life without really savoring it” – explains Diana Jiménez.
Without realizing it, we are transferring this “world in a hurry” to our children since they are small, although parents may not be aware of this problem until they reach adolescence.
“Our children were born in the time of online shopping with delivery in 24 hours ; in the time when photographs are no longer revealed, but we see them at the moment; in the time of food delivery ordered at the click of a button , And a long etcetera”
In this sense, Diana invites us to reflect on what it means for children to grow up and develop in the age of immediacy .
” Adults understand what it means to wait and we know that sometimes waiting is necessary. But for children it is very difficult to understand and manage waiting; not only because their brain is developing and acquiring new concepts, but because every day they observe that practically everything can be obtained at the moment”
A good example of this is television: “if we don’t want to see ads, nothing happens. With pay television and the remote control, we eliminate them at a stroke. That way we don’t waste time and have what we want at the moment,” he reflects. the expert.
The danger of immediacy and social networks in adolescence
Upon reaching adolescence, our children go through a particularly critical and vulnerable period, the effects of which are added to everything mentioned. We refer to the use of the Internet and social networks.
Not in vain, Diana reminds us that behind each brand or certain social profiles there are psychologists or sociologists who know perfectly well how the human mind works , how the group thinks and how to reach the emotional part by silencing the irrational.
“Brands know that time is money and they seek to engage the youngest . Shorts, short YouTube videos, are created, reels, short Instagram videos, and tiktoks are monetized.”
But in addition to manipulation, we must not forget that the frequent and improper use of social networks can also lead to emotional and self-esteem problems, as well as difficulties in relationships with others.
In this sense, Diana Jiménez explains to us how new technologies end up interfering in relationships between parents and children, and even between adolescents themselves.
“There is no more looking at how teenagers interact when they share their time . They meet outdoors or at fast food places and they all occupy the same side of the bench or the same part of the table so that they can teach each other the content they are seeing on the internet or on social channels”
When it comes to family relationships , parents often complain about the excessive time that our adolescent children spend in front of screens, stuck in their room and hardly interacting with us. Among other things, this makes us feel more and more “lost” and we don’t know how to connect with our children.
What can we parents do to prevent our children from being engulfed by the “era of immediacy”?
For the expert, educating our children in responsibility, values and commitment is becoming more difficult every day.
That is why it is important to reflect and be aware of the daily interference that affects our relationship with our children and separates us from them, as well as trying to carry out an upbringing based on respect for their rhythms and needs . For this, our example and the way we approach life is fundamental.
On the other hand, Diana emphasizes the importance of keeping children away from screens and social networks for as long as possible , and avoiding falling into the classic “I had to give him a mobile because all his friends already had it and he was the unique” .
“We must think that once we give technology to a child (be it a mobile phone, a tablet, a computer, a game console, access to social networks…) it will be difficult or impossible to take it away. But if we have already given it or we are considering it, it is essential to establish rules and limits of use”
“Parents to work” and other resources to educate in the age of immediacy
As we mentioned at the beginning, the topic of “immediacy” is one of those addressed by Diana in “Padres a la obra”, a perfect and fun combination between a conference and a play in which she participates together with the psychologist Alejandro Schujman.
“In this conference we stage everyday situations of parenting, such as the use of technology, the importance of limits or the different parenting styles. In addition, we offer guidelines to parents and their children (we recommend going to see it with children older than 7 -8 years) to educate in the age of immediacy”
“Padres a la obra” will only have two performances: on October 7 in Seville and on October 22 in Madrid. In addition to having an entertaining time and learning, all the proceeds will go to the Aladina Foundation.