With my first child, I made the terrible mistake of wishing him to grow up too soon . I was so excited about my new role as a mother, that I longed for time to pass quickly to discover new stages and experiences with him.
Thus, when she was still breastfeeding she dreamed of starting complementary feeding, when she crawled she yearned for her to start walking, and when she uttered her first babbling she could not help imagining what it would be like to say ‘mom’ for the first time.
But when he was three years old, something in me changed. It was like a reality slap that made me realize that his baby stage was over and I had spent it more concerned with getting him to reach new milestones each time, than with enjoying the moments he gave me.
A personal reflection
When I look back and think of those first few months as a new mother , I can’t help but feel a certain nostalgia for how tremendously fast I went through that stage. Not surprisingly, if I could go back to the past I am clear about what I would say to that young mother, inexperienced and eager to live future experiences instead of enjoying her present.
But it is that I was so happy with my baby and I had wanted for so long to become a mother, that when I finally fulfilled my dream I had the need to live at full speed all those scenes and moments that my mind had recreated over and over again.
Fortunately, life has given me a second and third chance that I have consciously enjoyed, with all my senses and without looking at the clock. A second and third motherhood in which I have not sought to ‘burn out’ too quickly, and in which patience, observation and letting flow have been my main mantras.
Each baby achieves achievements in due time
Stimulating a baby is good – as long as it is done in a respectful way – but we have to be careful and not put our children in the rush to learn, evolve and achieve new achievements . It is essential to leave them space to enjoy their growth, without pressure or high objectives.
In this sense, a baby that grows up in a loving environment, with parents who provide security and affection, and with positive and appropriate stimulation, will reach all the milestones in a natural and respectful way, without having to “teach” him to do so. .
In contrast, a baby that grows without stimuli, without maternal contact or neglect , does not create the neural connections necessary for proper development, and this will affect him throughout his life. Because it is in these early years when the synapses or connections between nerve cells far exceed those of an adult.
This means that secure attachment takes on a fundamental place in the baby’s first months and years: this commitment to trust, the creation of secure and stable bonds with our children, may not help them to walk sooner, but it will make their social and emotional development are better .
As our children grow, it is also common to think that if we do not stimulate them correctly or offer them all kinds of activities and extracurricular activities, they will get bored, their grades will be lower or they will not have a good future job. Therefore, it is easy to fall is an overstimulation that takes away moments of leisure and enjoyment , when what is really important in the first years of life is free play as an inexhaustible source of learning.
In short, free play, respect for the times and growing up in an environment full of love and care will help the baby to develop correctly and reach milestones according to its own rhythm , and without the need to speed up time.
Everything comes, and from my own experience I tell you that living too fast ends up taking its toll in the long term, when you look back and ask yourself: “at what point did you grow so much, baby?”
Photos | Stock
In Babies and More | “You are about to enter adolescence, and I cannot believe that time has passed so quickly”
