Self- esteem is one of the foundations of well-being in childhood ; In fact, we could say that it is the base on which a healthy psychological development is built, and also allows us to connect in a healthy way with others.
If this self-esteem is damaged, the inferiority complex can arise. We speak of a feeling of inferiority, and of a constant feeling of insecurity that is reflected in decision-making, in behaviors in general …
But, what signs can help us identify this complex in our children? How can we accompany them so that they feel good about themselves, capable and valid?
What is the inferiority complex?
The inferiority complex encompasses a series of symptoms, the prevailing one being low self-esteem. The person with this complex feels insecure , as well as inferior to other people, even if they do not have objective, realistic or rational reasons to believe it.
Thus, he is someone who feels that others are better, that they have more qualities and are more capable.
It is important to note here that it is not a disorder , and therefore, we are not talking about any official diagnosis, but rather, about a series of behavioral and emotional characteristics and symptoms.
Five signs to detect it
What signs would be telling us that our son suffers from an inferiority complex? We are talking about the most important ones (keep in mind that several of them must be met, and not just one):
Exaggerated fear of making mistakes
One of the signs of an inferiority complex is an exaggerated fear of making mistakes. If you notice that your child is very afraid of being wrong, and that, in addition, when he makes a mistake, he does not tolerate it or has a really bad time , this could be a warning sign of this complex.
Difficulty recognizing your own merits
Another of the signs of the inferiority complex is the difficulty to recognize one’s own merits.
If your child finds it difficult to identify his abilities, recognize when something is good for him, or directly recognize his own merits (and reinforce himself by them), and to this signal are added others, he could be suffering from the inferiority complex.
Insecurities
Insecurities are another of the warning signs of the inferiority complex. When we talk about insecurities, we refer to a difficulty in recognizing one’s own abilities , as well as in choosing between different options when it comes to achieving a certain goal.
They can also translate into constant doubts about what we have done or said, and continual thinking about whether or not we have been right.
Difficulty accepting praise
Difficulty tolerating or accepting praise can be a sign of low self-esteem, which is also related to the inferiority complex.
Many times, this difficulty arises from the inability to recognize, in oneself, what they are praising us.
Thus, children with an inferiority complex tend to feel uncomfortable with praise .
Sensitivity to the opinions of others
Children who are greatly affected by other people’s opinions can also suffer from an inferiority complex.
Thus, they are children who tend to be annoyed or feel uncomfortable with the comments of others, and who show great sensitivity to the opinions of others , opinions that collide with that low self-esteem.
In this sense, they are very affected by what they may think of them, and they can easily feel hurt or attacked.
How You Can Help Him: Five Key Ideas
We leave you five key ideas to help your child get out of this insecurity complex.
Identify the causes
When solving any situation or problem, it is important to know the causes of it. Therefore, try to identify, and understand, the possible variables or factors that have intervened in the origin (and maintenance) of these symptoms in your child.
Could it be a traumatic situation at school, for example? (For example, being bullied ). Negative comments from other people? Some aspect of your personality? Difficulty reinforcing yourself? Any physical abnormality?
Or something related to educational style, parenting …? Remember that we are not looking for “culprits”, but to understand the origin of the problem in order to address it more effectively. If the cause or causes of it can be specified, it will be easier to find specific solutions.
Reinforce their achievements and skills
Positive reinforcement is not only beneficial to promote positive behaviors in children, but also to reinforce their self-esteem.
Thus, reinforcing your child’s abilities and achievements (even small ones) can help him to identify them more easily and feel satisfied with them.
And this will help improve your self-concept and self-esteem, two aspects that are a bit damaged in the inferiority complex.
Encourage him to participate in family activities
Social participation and family activities can also boost self-esteem; In addition, it is a good option to get to know yourself, give yourself the opportunity to express your opinion, to verbalize what you feel and want …
And these small actions will bring your child closer to being little by little more capable of building his self-concept and the vision he has of himself, also thanks to social contact (an opportunity to also be reinforced by the environment, in this case the family ).
Accompany him to develop assertiveness
Assertiveness is the ability to say the things we think without offending, respectfully and clearly and being true to ourselves; also, the ability that allows us to set limits.
It is a very good tool when it comes to boosting self-esteem; why? Because through limits, children learn to identify what they need, how to get it, and what things bother or hurt them (and connecting with all that is already self-esteem).
Thus, by setting limits, we protect ourselves, we surround ourselves with people who really contribute to us, and we remove those who make us feel bad and therefore can undermine our self-esteem.
Encourage him not to blame himself for failures, but to accept himself
Children with an inferiority complex tend to “beat themselves up” a lot for what they do wrong. Therefore, encourage him to change his functioning, modifying this crush and feeling of guilt with a feeling of responsibility and acceptance.
This responsibility will surely lead you to analyze what has led you to make mistakes . On the other hand, it is important that you can repair what has not gone well, and that you do not stay in those negative criticisms that sometimes arise towards yourself and that are so damaging.
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