The upbringing and education of children are complex tasks that demand a lot of time and attention from us; but dedication is not enough. It is also important that we can have strategies for our children to learn the skills necessary for life.
As parents, teachers, therapists and/or caregivers, we often wish we could prevent our children from facing difficult situations or certain problems.
We would also like to be able to help you always; but this is not always impossible, and nothing happens (besides, how else would they learn?).
However, what we can do for them is to help them improve themselves so that they can trust what they are capable of , as well as grow and develop.
Some parenting recommendations to enhance the abilities of our children are usually helpful; not only to promote their intellectual abilities, but also their social and emotional skills, betting on a healthy and happy development that allows them to improve themselves. But how do we do it?
“Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you will find yourself doing the impossible.”
-San Francisco de Asis-
How to help children improve themselves
Strengthens your self-esteem
One of the tasks that we should never put aside as parents or teachers is to strengthen the self-esteem of our little ones. And it is of great importance that they learn how valuable they are and that they can achieve many things.
In the same way, we need to work with them on their weak points and learn to be aware of it without feeling bad, understanding that we are all simply different, that therefore we have different abilities, and that is very good. Diversity enriches!
Promotes tolerance for frustration
In the same way that it is important to motivate our children to improve themselves (and look for what makes them happy), to improve their self-concept, their self-esteem and their self-confidence… it is also important to educate them so that they learn to tolerate the frustration
And it is that, nothing happens because they are wrong, but they must expose themselves to these situations so that they learn to manage the emotions they feel when something does not go as they expected; that they tolerate them, listen to them, understand them and give them their space. This will strengthen your resilience.
make him feel safe
For healthy development to occur in our children, it is essential that they have a secure emotional support system .
It is important that they know that, no matter what happens, they can count on us, and that they also know that our love will not diminish if at any time they fail or make mistakes in some activity.
In addition, we must encourage self-confidence in them; that they trust in their abilities and that they know that nothing bad happens if at some point we fail . That’s just part of our learning process.
“Self-confidence is the first secret of success.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson-
Know that you will always be there
In line with the previous point, it is also important that our children know that we will always be there for them, to accompany them, respect them and always love them.
Let your child know that no matter what happens or what results they get, they can always count on you , that you will not be disappointed. Convey to him the great pride that makes you feel seeing him strive, achieve his goals and go beyond himself day after day.
Don’t give her all the answers
If we want our children to be able to overcome themselves, it is important to really give them the opportunity to do so, and that implies having to step aside at certain times.
It is very tempting to tell them the answers to the questions or problems that arise, especially when we see that they have been struggling for a while .
But in order for them to develop their autonomy and trust in their own abilities, it is important to let them try; you can guide them, give them clues… but let them solve the dilemmas, problems or challenges themselves.
Stimulate their talents and interests
A common mistake that many parents make is wanting to enhance the less developed skills of their children . So we see how many children who have a hard time reading and writing, for example, are included in activities of this nature (or in any other area).
This, although it is sometimes necessary (in these cases, we must give it an adequate approach, talk about it with the child beforehand, so that they understand the function and the meaning of pointing them to X activities, etc.), sometimes it can generate frustration in our children.
Thus, it can make them feel very bad for not being able to fulfill what they believe that as parents or teachers we expect of them.
Therefore, we encourage you to take another approach to the situation; try to stimulate their learning and development in their areas of interest or talents , enhancing their abilities, and you will see how they will improve in the rest of the areas of their lives.
Also, remember that we are not looking for perfect children, who are a “10” in everything, but happy children.
Always appreciate your effort
Don’t just value their achievements; emphasize the importance of putting in the effort , regardless of the outcome. We usually praise the achievements of our children, but that is not enough.
When, as important figures for the children that we are, we take the time to recognize and value their effort, no matter what the result was, their self-esteem is strengthened and we boost their self-confidence.
All this, in the long term, translates into a better ability to resolve conflicts and the ability to overcome oneself.
learning after failure
It is important to convey to our children the message that nothing happens if at some point they fail in an activity . Also, what does “fail” actually mean?
You can discuss the concept together; this will help you understand the beliefs associated with this concept for your child, so that you can review and readjust or change them.
On the other hand, we encourage you to use these moments of “failure” or “mistake” in your child to develop their emotional intelligence; that he can understand that a fall will not determine who he is or what he is worth, and much less will it condition your love for him .
Educate him to understand that even when we fail we learn from our mistakes, and that we can always improve. We can learn what we have done wrong and apply new strategies to succeed next time .
“Failure is just the chance to start over smarter.”
-Henry Ford-
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 1 (freepik), Image 2 (freepik), Image 3 (freepik), Image 4 (freepik)
