LivingI have realized that my mental burden as a...

I have realized that my mental burden as a mother did not begin after childbirth, but during pregnancy

A few days ago I reflected on the way in which motherhood has changed my life. All of us who have been through this know that, although we do not all experience it in the same way (the mere fact of giving birth at term or not can make a huge difference), exhaustion and mental load is a common denominator that identify all of them . But when does that mental load really start?

To be honest, until recently I thought that it came from when you saw your baby for the first time, but looking back (it’s an exercise I usually do to try to understand many things), I realized that it didn’t. That this “mental load of mother” appeared in my life the moment I knew that my baby was on the way . At that moment my actions would no longer affect only my life, but also that of another person whose existence I had been wishing for a long time. Along with a baby, an additional burden of responsibility that was impossible to share with my partner began to take shape.

When the course of pregnancy and small decisions become a mental burden

In my case, just over a month into my pregnancy, a clot ten times larger than the size of the embryo was detected, an issue that led me directly to relative rest at home. After the miracle of becoming pregnant, I was scared to even get out of bed to go to the bathroom.

I had a hard time launching myself out when the doctor told me that it had been solved. My joy lasted two months because in the fourth I was diagnosed with placenta previa and with it, I returned home with a cocktail of absolute and relative rest until delivery. With this, we added a few more kilos to the already heavy backpack of my mental load.

In between, came the “small decisions”:

-What stroller do we buy?

-Husband: I don’t know, the one you like the most.

-And we bought a mini crib? Will it be necessary?

-Husband: No idea, is that still used?

-I’m not sure… and I don’t know if I’ll breastfeed her or not…

-Husband: Whatever you decide will be fine

I don’t know if this has happened to someone else, and if some of you were so indecisive when choosing a stroller or deciding whether to have a crib or not. What I am sure of is that we have normalized that we investigate this type of thing ourselves, with the corresponding responsibility that if we make a mistake, either because we chose something that in the end did not end up giving us a good result or that we never directly use ( I know of many cribs that have been turned into a laundry basket), the blame will fall on your shoulders . And it doesn’t matter if your partner doesn’t tell you… you made a bad decision, and you know it (as the meme says).

Each pregnancy is a world and although parents are getting more and more involved, it is true that sometimes, either on a whim or because it is difficult for us to delegate, we are the ones who bear the weight of everything without question . About these things it is also necessary to talk, because surely sometimes the counterpart doesn’t even know. Well, this at least was my case, which I repeat, clearly it will not be the same as the rest…or will it?

How much weight did you gain in pregnancy? Why is this a question you...

The issue of weight gain in pregnancy is one that usually generates doubts and, sometimes, controversy. As we have already explained on other occasions, the number of kilos that a woman gains during this stage is different for each one, depending on the type of body, routine and diet.

These are the best hospitals in Spain to give birth: 2022 ranking

When we are in the final stretch of our pregnancy and we think about childbirth, it is normal to feel uncertainty and nervousness, especially if it is our first time. For many women, it is important to know well the hospital where they will give birth, and even to have good references that help them face the moment in a more relaxed and confident way.

She discovers that she is pregnant thanks to her Apple Watch, is it the...

The Apple Watch, or any smart watch, has multiple functions that help us on a daily basis, and some of them are related to health, such as heart rate measurement, which also allows us to keep track of the last few days .

Baby movements during pregnancy: why it is important to count them and the best...

During pregnancy, it is important that we take into account certain things that help us know if everything is going as it should. Of course, the best way to do this is by going to prenatal appointments.

When they tell you it's a girl or a boy and at the next...

Everything that begins to revolve around a pregnancy when an incipient belly can no longer hide it has always caught my attention: the comments about whether you are more beautiful (or not, that there are also those who say so), the advice that begins to arrive in spurts, and in a very special way, the wishes of all those who have the super power to guess if what you are expecting is a boy or a girl, just by seeing you with the first maternity dress.

More