Adolescence is a complex stage that may seem like an impossible challenge for parents, but the truth is that it is one more stage of development that, although complicated, is very necessary for the growth and maturation of our children.
During this time it is very common for adolescents to stop talking to us about their feelings , and suddenly there is not even the slightest trace of that talkative child.
This can be very difficult for us as parents, but keep in mind that it is a necessary process for your independence.
“Adolescence is the conjugation of childhood and adulthood.”
-Louise J. Kaplan-
My teenage son doesn’t want to talk to me.
During adolescence, young people begin to experience a little more their freedom and independence from us, the parents, and it is perfectly normal for them to distance themselves from us to a certain extent .
You will notice how less and less your teenager will tell you about their thoughts, feelings and experiences.
But do not be alarmed, it is not that you have done something wrong as a parent, it is simply the way in which many adolescents face this challenging stage full of changes.
Why is this happening?
In adolescence we begin to experience new emotions, expanding our social circle; romantic interests also begin. And as if all this were not enough, accompanied by physical changes.
All these changes generate a lot of anguish and we can feel completely lost without knowing what to do, and just when this happens, to avoid feeling judged or receiving sermons, many adolescents consciously or unconsciously choose to stop talking to us.
What I can do?
Having a teenage child is complex both for them and for us, and it is right there when parenthood becomes a tough test for many. If your child won’t talk to you, try these tips:
Good communication is essential
During adolescence our children will have difficulties or lack of interest in telling us what is happening to them, but it is precisely there where it becomes essential to be able to establish an open channel of communication so that they can feel heard, cared for and not judged.
out the sermons
It is very common for us to feel the need to lecture our children when they have done things wrong or when the way they do things does not seem right to us, but this is the worst thing we can do.
Lecturing your child will only further alienate him from you and further isolate him.
set limits
It is important during adolescence to begin to experience privacy, but it has limits.
As teenagers there are no spaces where parents cannot or should not have access, but this does not mean having carte blanche to interfere in all their things. Set boundaries with love and respect.
ask without pressure
As parents we can try to get more information from our children, but be careful not to sound inquisitive or as if it were an exam.
Try to converse pleasantly; An ideal way to break the ice is to open up and tell him about your own experiences as a teenager. This is usually very helpful.
Remember that you are no longer a child
One of the most annoying things for teenagers is to continue being treated like children.
Therefore, establish direct communications as if you were talking to another adult; yes, always having respect as a fundamental basis in conversations. Let him know that you care what he thinks.
Attention to social networks
In recent years, social networks have become very important in everyone’s life, especially adolescents.
But you have to be very careful because the anonymity offered by these platforms offers the ideal conditions for bullying ; therefore, pay close attention to their social networks.
let him speak
Teenagers have a host of emotions on the surface, and often do not know how to deal with them.
It is very common that behind the anger and rage of adolescents, a deep sadness hides. Allow him to speak and be willing to accept if you have been wrong, and more importantly, to apologize if necessary.
remind him that you are there
Always remind him how much you love him (even if he doesn’t say anything and even gets upset), and that you are there for him or her no matter what happens.
Validate everything he feels , don’t belittle anything he tells you. Give due importance to your thoughts and emotions.
“Mother Nature is providential. It gives us twelve years to develop our love for our children before they are teenagers.”
-William Galvin-
If you are experiencing your child’s adolescence right now, cheer up, this stage will also pass. Be patient and very understanding . Try to remember how complicated everything in life seemed when you were a teenager.
Don’t forget to treat your children with lots of love and respect.
Photos | Cover (freepik), Image 1 (freepik), Image 2 (freepik)
