To many (myself included), motherhood comes like a bucket of ice water when what you expect is a warm and quiet bath . That cube may be a different color, but I would say the feeling is the same. The true postpartum is a taboo that has been talked about until now, and the manifestations of that overwhelming reality bath can be so diverse, that there could be as many as there are women in the world. One of them is that of women who do not dare to leave the house with their newborn babies , a phenomenon that is rarely talked about, but which is more common than we think.
I don’t want to leave home with my newborn baby… what’s wrong with me?
Many of us are surprised by our own reactions after the arrival of the baby. That idyllic image of a new mother with a rosy and plump baby that we have always consumed collides with the panorama that we suddenly have before our eyes when we become mothers.
The weight of responsibility (along with the amount of fluids that are still inside your body), is a huge burden that we are generally not prepared to manage . The fear of not doing it right and of not seeing that image of a radiant woman in the mirror often makes us feel insecure about our abilities or even our physical appearance outside that safe territory called home.
Tiredness can be another determining factor. If night and day blur on the clock and sleeping is something you haven’t done since you were pregnant, going for a walk probably isn’t the plan you most want to do. I think that nobody knows how many hours we can be awake and how tired we can feel, until we become mothers.
That is why it is essential to keep in mind that there is a very fine line that separates the normal process of adapting to our new role (and that we all suffer), with postpartum depression. A new mother should always have a support network (friends and family), to help her bear the weight of the birth of a child.
What can we do if this happens to us?
Inform us
We should all inform ourselves (before and after childbirth), about these situations to normalize that we can be wrong, that we do not have to reflect that image of a perfect and happy mother from minute one, and that it can happen to anyone… even to that Instagram mom who is always so cute and who seems to have a perfect life.
talk to other mothers
One of the most enriching experiences for a recent mother is talking to an experienced mother, whose voice no longer shakes when she says that motherhood and parenting are very hard. Feeling that we are not “freaks” and that postpartum loneliness is a situation that many of us live in silence, can make you gain self-confidence and you can start living it in a different way, without that “self-pressure” to show that yes, that it is the most wonderful thing that has happened to you in life, but that sometimes generates situations that can overcome you.
go out at your own pace
It is not necessary that during the first days you launch yourself to tour the entire city. Start with very short walks (right after a feed, for example), so you don’t have to feed the baby on the street. Little by little you will feel more confident and the baby will also get used to your walks.
Think about how good walks bring both for your baby and for you
Receiving sunlight offers us many benefits: our skin produces vitamin D when we receive it, but it also activates us and gives rise to the production of serotonin, known as “the hormone of happiness” because it gives us a feeling of well-being almost righ now.
For the baby, this walk also offers the same advantages, with the additional component that many relax and end up sleeping outside the best nap of the day.
Ask for help
Whether it’s help with housework, baby care, or even therapy, we should all ask for the help we need without any hesitation when we become mothers. Do not put pressure on yourself for not being able to get to things that are simple in principle, such as taking a shower or preparing food. In this way you will surely feel better and you will trigger a domino effect in the situation: do not forget that to take good care of yourself, you must first be well.
In Babies and More | Nine things I would do differently in my postpartum period, if I could turn back time
