Naked and Rude Ireland Ireland: Is This Really A Thing? Because we all know that the Irish are always very friendly, in general. And that Ireland, as a Catholic (or, in the north, Presbyterian) country is not, in general, given to carnality, fornication and shameless displays of the body. But … you can still get your Ireland naked and rude. Well, to be frank: it is possible, but sometimes only indirectly. And with some inside knowledge.
Don’t worry, kind reader, this is not your guide to orgies, name calling, and misbehavior in general (to experience that, a sunny weekend in Temple Bar might be the best place, truth be told). This item is an almost random collection of Irish badass and nudity. From Art to Skinny Dip, from Muff to Devil’s Testicles. With some helpful tips added …
Nude beaches in Ireland?
To be honest, there are officially none. As in zero, zero, nix. Because Ireland in general has yet to develop a healthy attitude towards the human body on display. And the line between having a topless soak in the water (or a perfect tan on the beach) and being dragged into court for causing a public crime is a thin (and not entirely defined). The general consensus: public nudity is prohibited in Ireland, nude beaches are never officially sanctioned.
Yet here it is: the short guide to nudism in Ireland. Undress at your own risk! At the end of the day, it’s all about how you carry yourself – a topless sunbath in a secluded spot can raise the occasional eyebrow, overt displays of sexual behavior will certainly lead to the Guards or PSNI showing up.
Public nudity in Dublin
With that being said … even without a bona fide nude beach on the entire island, you can still enjoy some very straightforward displays of public nudity in Dublin. Because it is art. Not only did some Irish girls become famous for being very naked (witnessing La Belle Morphise and Le Sommeil , probably even the highly controversial L’Origine du monde ), but the capital is also home to a number of nudes (mostly female).
For a different look at Dublin, take a look at Nudity in Artwork. Although at least one underwent a sex change. As a lazy male nude it is certainly much more controversial than that of a female, in the eyes of some people.
Rude place names in Ireland
You may want to send a postcard home from Dicksboro, Doodys Bottoms, Fartrim, Lousybush, or even Nobber, which will warrant some laughs and warning looks. But what about telling your elderly single aunt that you are now a fully paid member of the Muff Diving Club and that you have the shirt (as well as the membership card) to prove it? And maybe bring her some Effin cheese as a souvenir?
On the other hand: while you proudly declare that you rode the Devil’s Mother while on vacation in Ireland, you might raise an eyebrow. But imagine that you really knew that the Irish name ” Magairlí an Deamhain ” (a hill in Connemara) had been mistranslated. And that the round, rocky surface you were stomping on was actually… the Demon’s Testicles?
So check out the weirdest place names in Irish, often not translated for obvious reasons. Or would you like the skipper of a tourist boat to turn his gaze to the dead man’s penis?
On a more serious note
Now for something completely different, but closely related on the subject: sex in Ireland, having it as a tourist. If you were enthusiastic about all of the above, you probably have a craving for something to eat during your travels. And not necessarily with the people you travel with.
So to complete our short survey on Naked and Rude Ireland, here are some articles you should consider reading if you plan to be sexually active on an Irish holiday:
The most important things a tourist could want to know about sex in Ireland can be found online. The gist of this is “basically behaving like a normal person”, if you need a short version. Ireland’s laws regarding sex are ‘Western standard’.
Another important question is whether you can get contraception in Ireland. The pill and condoms are generally available, and even emergency contraception can be purchased without a prescription if things go wrong. Just keep in mind that condoms can be a good idea in any case, as STDs are on the rise.
