As parents we want our children to be successful and happy , and we would love to save them from having to face problems in life, but this is unrealistic.
It is inevitable that our children go through different situations throughout their lives, situations that will help them learn, grow and form as honest people with values.
But what we can do is generate strategies that help them achieve their goals, managing to strengthen the bond we have as parents while promoting their well-being by feeling capable of achieving what they set out to do and overcoming the obstacles that come their way. .
But how do we accompany them? How can I help my son achieve his goals?
“The best way to make children good is to make them happy.”
How to help my son achieve his goals: some key ideas
let them decide
It is important that you help your child to trust himself and be responsible for his actions. The best way to achieve this is by letting him make his own decisions.
This does not mean leaving him alone with all the pressure and not intervening; on the contrary, it implies a timely approach on your part.
Thus, we encourage you to guide your children in the decision-making processes, but always allowing them some freedom so that they can choose, without impositions on your part. Giving options to choose from will help you have good results (and him, to strengthen his autonomy).
Teach your children to set realistic goals that they can meet so that they can consolidate the goals they set for themselves. You need to help them figure out what they can do based on their time , abilities, commitment, interests, talents, etc.
In this sense, we recommend that you help them set small and realistic goals “to start” (there will be time to motivate and improve!). Breaking big goals down into smaller goals is helpful and will also make your child feel capable.
For example, if your child wants to be the best soccer player, set small goals like training daily (and gradually increase the difficulty or dedication to that goal).
Strengthens your self-esteem
How to strengthen your self-esteem? Valuing every achievement , however small it may be. This will help foster in your children a sense of well-being and self-confidence by perceiving themselves capable of achieving what they set out to do.
On the other hand, use praise whenever they manage to accomplish anything, even if it’s a “small” thing. And in the moments when he fails (which are inevitable), appreciate all the effort and dedication he had.
Let him know that you are proud of him for trying and that you know he can improve, emphasizing that you learn something from everything, including failure.
It is important that our children learn the importance and value of perseverance in order to achieve the goals that are set in their lives. Being persevering despite setbacks is essential to achieve everything you set out to do.
Persistence helps them move forward despite the fears and frustrations that arise when facing certain difficulties.
Do not forget to point out or highlight their progress when they want to give up; Remind them how far they have come thanks to perseverance.
you are his example
Anything you want your children to learn should be shown to them. Much more important than what you tell your little ones is what they see you do.
So, if I want my son to achieve his goals by being patient, responsible, persevering, etc., I must act accordingly.
Face your goals by putting all your effort into achieving them and you will notice how your children, even without telling them anything, will emulate what they see at home . Always keep in mind that you are their greatest reference in life.
The importance of motivation: the “engine” of everything
Motivation is key to being able to achieve goals, and this includes the supportive role we play as parents.
Supporting and encouraging them to move forward, praising their achievements and helping them understand failures as learning opportunities, is essential for their development and growth.
On the other hand, to motivate them it is necessary that they have realistic goals that they can meet, and every time they achieve it and move forward, they can feel much better when they feel and know they are capable of fulfilling the goals they have set for themselves.
Don’t dismiss frustration
Getting frustrated for not being able to achieve something is one of the things that we all experience at some point in life and that, in addition, turns out to be quite unpleasant. It is very important to help our children cope with these situations.
Don’t avoid the topic of frustration; talk about it with your children (let them understand that it can appear, and that nothing happens). Explain to them that it’s okay to feel bad , sad, or angry about not being able to meet goals, but that this can give us a boost to try again and improve.
Break down the goals
Finally, a very effective technique to achieve goals (at any age) is to consider the final goal based on small goals .
We can do this by writing down what is the goal that we want to achieve in the long term and establishing what we must do to achieve it.
For example, if your daughter wants to attend her school’s math olympics and has to pass several exams for this, being selected for the math olympics is her ultimate goal.
Then, based on this, plan small goals together to reach the “big goal”, such as completing homework, studying mathematics, passing each exam, etc. Each step is a breakthrough, let her know that too! Let’s not forget that the goal is sometimes also the path .
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