The honeymoon stage in a marriage begins as soon as the wedding ends. Togetherness, love and affection, along with frequent sex, are the hallmarks of the honeymoon stage. It triggers during the honeymoon, when a couple has the time and desire to fully focus on each other and block out the rest of the world.
It is also a time when most couples are in their physical prime and looking their best. Nothing and no one is more interesting to the new couple than the other, and they may prefer a honeymoon getaway where they can enjoy privacy and uninterrupted.
During the honeymoon stage, friends and family can begin to feel somewhat neglected, as the intimacy of the couple excludes them. It is perfectly normal behavior.
It’s not just about sex
The honeymoon stage is a period of discovery, when you learn new things about your partner. Normally, you feel simply intoxicated when you are in the company of your lover. However, there may be a shaking and less delusional moment, when it hits you deeply – this is the person I have promised to spend the rest of my life with. Your spouse has flaws, you realize. Like you! Accepting that is part of adjusting to your new life together.
This phase is also when you start to make important decisions that you may not have discussed before the wedding. It is also a time when you begin to forge habits and introduce rituals that will define your marriage for years to come.
How long is the honeymoon stage?
Typically, the honeymoon stage of a relationship lasts at least a year. According to an article in The New York Times:
“American and European researchers tracked 1,761 people who got married and stayed married over the course of 15 years. The findings were clear: Newlyweds enjoy a huge boost of happiness that lasts, on average, just two years. Then the special joy disappears and they are back where they started, at least in terms of happiness.
Then other concerns such as work, family problems, financial pressures, and health can begin to pressure a partner to adjust their focus of the new spouse elsewhere. Often times, the couple can recover and reinvigorate their intoxication.
For some couples, the honeymoon stage stretches from three to five years and sometimes longer. In most cases, the honeymoon stage gradually stops and is replaced by the deepening of love and domestic life.
The arrival of the first child, and the needs and demands of that new life, always signal the end of this stage in the couple’s relationship.
Keep the flame alive
Face it: marriage won’t be sweet talk and roses. Once you get to the point in your relationship where you feel the passion fading, there are things you can do to keep the spark burning:
- Say “I love you” every day
- Send a sweet text message to let your partner know that you are thinking about him or her
- Find a new hobby or sport together
- Take a different kind of honeymoon
- Sign up for dance classes – and voila
- Have date nights and game nights
- Send flowers … just because
- Spend time apart; Absence makes love grow!
- Promise to explore a different part of the city once a month
- Schedule a romantic getaway for the weekend or longer if you can take the time.
Can a honeymoon last forever?
While some couples claim to be on a perpetual honeymoon, it is unrealistic to expect that to happen. The good news, though, is that you can come back if you can wait until the kids are out of the house in about 20 years, and then you can find all the love and laughter, sex and loneliness coming back into your life.
