I recognize that during my births I did not want many people around me and the presence of my husband and father of my children was enough for me. For me it was an intimate moment, which had to stay between us.
But it is clear that each woman lives and understands her birth differently and decides to share it with the people she loves the most. That is the case of Hollie Lau from Columbus, Ohio (United States). She decided to give birth to her third child, in the company of her husband, her parents and their two sons , Charlie, aged nine, and Hank, aged seven. And so that “the party” , as she calls it, was perfect, her doula and her photographer were also present.
Thanks to this birth photographer, Hanna Spencer, the birth of Robin Indigo in the company of her siblings was well documented, with incredible and very realistic images that show the wonderful bond between the mother and her children.
The children wanted to participate in the birth of their sister
Unlike most mothers who describe their births, Hollie speaks of the birth of her daughter, her third child, as a party: “it was a lot of people.” There was her doula and her photographer, but also her parents, her husband and two exceptional guests: her older children. But they were not mere spectators: in fact, Charlie, the eldest, supported his mother in the hard moments of childbirth , as she herself points out: “he was my little doula”.
But, although the moment of delivery came unexpectedly, the presence of the older siblings was well thought out and planned. Hanna, who is also a doula, explains that she had always wanted her children by her side when she gave birth to her sister.
She also assures that it was her children who asked to be present at the birth of their little sister and their parents decided to give them the opportunity to do so.
Both she and her husband took all necessary precautions to ensure that the children were prepared for what they would see that day. They made sure that the hospital would allow them to be with them during the delivery and prepared them for what they were going to experience, to take on a supportive role. They even attended a childbirth education class.
Of course, events were precipitated, as Hollie tells:
“During a visit to the midwife, they noticed that the baby’s heart rate was slowing down, so an ambulance took me to the hospital because it was time to induce labor.”
Meanwhile, her husband Bryan went to pick up their children from school and took them to the hospital to see their mother, who remembers that they stayed for the beginning of the induction and then went home to eat and rest until the labor began. to advance.
A few hours later, at dawn, she called the grandparents and asked them to come with their children because “we were already in the last stage of labor.”
And, as he recalls, the children were delighted:
“My mother commented that she had never seen the children prepare so quickly when she woke them up. They were so excited and wanted to be with us and close to me.”
The wonderful bond between the mother and her children
When they got to the hospital, the two of them got into what was happening. Hollie had asked her parents to take them out of the room if it got too overwhelming for them, but they were “fascinated.”
During the entire delivery, especially Charlie, the eldest, did not move from his mother’s side, supporting her.
Photographer Hanna says she felt great admiration seeing the bond between Hollie and her son in those photos. She knows that her friend “educates her children to cuddle and express themselves, and that is reflected in those photographs .” There is magic.
But, in the end, the children were surprised, as their mother says, because it seems that they are never sufficiently prepared: “they seemed the most surprised during the coronation” , although she adds that it was a pleasant surprise:
“Starting to see their sister and the top of her head after working so hard during labor was exciting for them.”
“After their sister was born, the two boys sat with us while I was breastfeeding for the first time and tenderly cared for me. They wrapped my blankets around us, pulled the hair out of my face, and stared at their new sister as we watched. We snuggled together. It was magical. “
Not everyone shares Hollie and her husband’s decision
Of course, not everyone sees magic in this experience, although Hollie admits that she is not bothered by criticism.
He assures that many people sexualize birth because they use the same parts of the body, but that could not be further from the experience that children had: “It is a normal part of life and we treat it as a science lesson.”
“This is how humans bring life into the world. When we can normalize it, children grow up being more positive for the body. We, as a society, do not need to hide the birth and breastfeeding of our children.”
And there is more: he assures that it was not only an unparalleled experience for the children, but that his support and presence also helped him in the hardest moments of childbirth:
Via | Cafe Mom
Photos | Hanna Spencer, Photographer for Milk and Hannah (with express publishing permission)
In Babies and More | ‘Giving birth in the 21st century’, the interactive documentary that shows us the respected and humanized childbirth of five women, The impressive photograph that captures how the mother’s bones move during childbirth to make way for the baby
