Having children (or not having them) is a decision that corresponds solely to the couple . However, it can happen that both family and friends insist on asking when they will have children, without stopping to think before speaking.
And it is that although it may seem something “simple”, the decision to have children is one that depends on various factors that are not always taken into account when asking that question, which can often become uncomfortable .
For this reason, we share some of the main reasons not to ask a couple when they will have children .
They don’t feel ready
As we have commented at the beginning, having or not having children is a decision that corresponds to the couple, and if they choose that they do want to have a baby, the decision of when to have it is something that also corresponds to them. They may not feel ready or want to meet certain personal goals before they have them , so they may feel pressured by the question.
Fertility or infertility problems
Most people assume that having a baby is a piece of cake, but the reality is that millions of couples around the world have some fertility problem that makes this long and difficult road .
In some cases, despite efforts and attempts to have a baby, it is simply not possible for the couple to have a child. Listening to this question becomes a constant reminder of something that could not be .
Gestational loss
The pain of losing a long-awaited baby is one of the greatest we can go through, and after an experience as sad as this, many couples may choose to let time go by or completely forget about their plan to have children. fear of going through the same thing again .
Physical health problems
Sometimes, it may be that one of the two has a health problem that is not related to their fertility , but that in some way influences the decision or ability to have children, such as autoimmune or cardiovascular diseases.
Mental health problems
Although when we think of health problems we think of physical ailments or conditions, mental and emotional health, which for some people continues to be a taboo subject, can influence the decision to become parents or not.
Economic situation
On the other hand, in addition to health problems that may or may not be related to fertility, there are some external factors. The economic situation , for example, can be the reason behind which a couple has decided not to have children or to wait to have them.
Relationship problems
The only people who know what the relationship is like is, precisely, the couple. We do not know if they are going through a difficult time , if they are working on improving their relationship or even if they are considering a separation.
It is not mandatory to have them
A very simple reason to stop asking when they will have children: no one is obligated to have them. It is not a requirement to be happy, nor is it a “must” do. Each person and each couple is tracing their path, and having children is something that they may or may not include in it.
It is none of your business
We have left it for the end, however it is one that perfectly includes all the previous ones: it is not your business . The decision to have children is solely up to the couple and the others do not really have to matter or affect us.
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In Babies and more | What to say and what not to a couple with fertility problems, how many children would you like to have? A question to ask yourself before starting a life together