Childbirth is one of the most important moments in the lives of mothers and children. What happens in it is deeply engraved in the brains of both, so it is important that you have a positive experience, as recommended by the World Health Organization (WHO).
Therefore, it is important to make ourselves listen if something does not please us, however, it can be difficult to do so at a time like this for various reasons. We share what to do and what to say if you feel that you are not being treated well during your delivery .
All mothers deserve to have a positive birth experience
For some years now, the WHO has made clear its position on the lack of respect and mistreatment during childbirth: they must be eradicated, because as they have previously stated, all women have the right to dignified and respectful care during pregnancy and in childbirth , and the right to be free from violence or discrimination.
Over the years we have heard of bad birth experiences that have left thousands of women scarred, even to the point of taking away the desire to have more children. Fortunately, every day more hospitals are aware of the importance of a respected delivery and we have been able to see how little by little things are improving.
However, there are still places where this is not the case. Many times it is not easy to face doctors at a time like childbirth and you do everything they say because you think it is for the best, but if you feel bad or uncomfortable, you have the right to demand dignified and respectful treatment.
If you want to know how to act if you feel that you are not being treated with respect and you do not want that bitter experience to be left as a memory, we share what to do and what to say.
What to say and what to do if you feel that you are not being treated well during your labor
It is important to me that …
To communicate to the hospital and the health personnel who will attend to you during your delivery, you can support yourself with a birth plan in which you specify your choice about the procedures to be performed and include a list of personal preferences that will help you have the delivery that you want.
In case you do not have a birth plan or to make sure that the medical team is aware of your requests, you can also comment on it making it clear what you want and it is a priority for you . Some examples are the following:
- It is important to me that I am clearly informed about everything that will be done.
- It is important for me to have freedom of movement and to choose the position that is most comfortable for me.
- It is important for me to do skin to skin as soon as my baby is born.
- It is important to me that the room is as calm and quiet as possible.
- It is important to me that you remember that I have a chance / risk of presenting …
Could you tell me your name?
During your delivery, different people on the medical team caring for you may come in and out of your room. It is important to know the name and position of all of them , not only so that you feel calmer, but so that in case one of them does not make you feel comfortable, you can let the corresponding area know.
I need you to explain …
In hospitals daily procedures are performed that for us may be different or strange and that can give us some fear. You have the right to ask that each step of your birth be explained clearly and in detail: what will happen, what it consists of, what benefits it has, what are the risks, what options are there, why it is necessary, under what scientific evidence it is supported, among other things.
I need a few minutes to think about it
The fact that certain procedures are offered or proposed does not mean that you are obliged to accept them (unless, of course, your health and your baby are at risk). After receiving the explanation or proposal from the medical staff, you can ask them to give you a few minutes of privacy to think about it .
I would like to consult with …
Following the same line of the previous point, if when explaining or proposing something to do, you do not feel safe due to the pressure of the moment or because you do not fully understand it, you can request to consult with your doctor or another trusted person .
I want you to come with me …
WHO recommends accompanying the woman during labor and delivery by the person of her choice. You can ask the hospital for the company of any person of your choice , and that they help you feel calmer (and also serve as a witness in case of abuse).
I do not feel comfortable
If something is bothering you, scary, or uncomfortable, say so . It is not easy to raise your voice at a time like this, but you have your right to express it and ask that things change so that you feel better or that it be explained to you in a more detailed way why it is necessary to do so.
Please change your tone of voice
A respected delivery includes the tone of voice and treatment that the staff give you. If you don’t like the way they’re talking to you, don’t be afraid to ask them to turn down the volume or change the tone for a more polite one . If someone offends you or is aggressive towards you, you can and should demand that they treat you with respect: no one should ever yell at, insult you or make fun of you during your delivery.
I have not given authorization to …
If they start to carry out a procedure or make decisions without consulting you first, you can stop them and tell them that you have not given authorization to do so . It is your right that they inform you of everything they do and ask for permission to do so.
I request a change of … (referring to medical personnel)
If someone on your medical team treats you disrespectfully, teases you, is aggressive, or you feel unfit to accompany you and leave you uneasy (like someone with little experience), you can ask to be changed for someone else. You don’t have to deal with someone who makes you feel bad or uncomfortable .
I want to speak to a lawyer
This phrase is for situations in which you feel abused or violated during your labor. If when communicating your requests and requesting changes in the way things are being done, the medical staff ignores you or treats you in a disrespectful way, you can and should ask to speak with a lawyer , in case it is necessary, sue the hospital, as we have seen on occasions where mothers have suffered abuse and obstetric violence.
All women have the right to have a positive birth experience, in which they are respected and made to feel as comfortable and calm as possible. If you feel that you are not being treated well during your labor, do not be afraid to speak up and ask for the changes that are necessary.
Photos | Pixabay, iStock
