When we know that a baby is on the way, we do everything possible to prepare ourselves for the great adventure that we are about to start. We read each other blogs, specialized websites, books and magazines , hoping to absorb as much knowledge as possible that can help us in the coming months.
Of course, there is no lack of advice from family and friends , whose intention is none other than to support us and prepare us for the moment when our baby is born. But receiving, reading, and listening to so much advice can be overwhelming and even confusing.
For this reason, and thinking about those first weeks and months, we have prepared a list of the only 11 tips that you should listen to, for the moment you return home with your newborn .
Listen to your baby
I start the list with this advice, because sometimes we are so focused on listening to what everyone is saying to us that we forget to really listen to what the little person who needs us the most right now: our baby is saying .
It is true that no one is born knowing how to be mothers or fathers, but it is also true that much of the upbringing and care of children is pure and real learning, which we acquire as we go along with them . So in addition to taking into account what others say (because we should not ignore them completely either), let us pay special attention to the needs that our son is showing us.
Always attend to their needs
This is where I speak against one of the “tips” that I hate the most: not carrying our baby for long because it “spoils.” Babies are not spoiling, blackmailing, or manipulating us .
Babies need us, and as their caregivers, we must always attend to their physical and emotional needs, without absurd fears that they will spoil the arms. Remember that arms are a basic need for babies, like eating and sleeping.
Be patient with both
Do you remember I said that nobody is born knowing how to be a father or a mother? Well, we do not do it when the baby is born, nor will we know how to do everything as if by magic the moment we finally hold him in our arms. As I mentioned a few lines back, a lot of parenting is learned as you go.
So remember to be patient with both: you and your baby . And I say this especially for mothers, because we are born again at the same time as the birth of our babies.
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Trust yourself
When we become mothers and fathers for the first time, it is very normal to have hundreds (or thousands!) Of doubts about the care of our baby, to the point of feeling overwhelmed or anxious.
But we have to gradually learn to trust ourselves , listening to our instincts and believing in our abilities to do things.
Don’t hesitate to ask for help
There is something very curious that happens to many new mothers: we do not know – or do not want – to ask for help during the postpartum period . For whatever reason, which can range from fear to mistrust, we refuse to ask for help, at a stage when we need it more than we think.
Let’s put aside fears and insecurity. Nobody will think that we are bad mothers if we ask for help, or that we do not have the capacity to take care of a baby. Asking for help is a very normal act and, in my opinion, responsible, since we know how to recognize when our body and mind need a break.
Prioritize and delegate
A piece of advice that goes hand in hand with the previous one: learn to delegate and prioritize. If someone else can do it, let them do it. If something can wait or is not urgent, save it for later.
Right now, the most important thing is mom and baby , so to put them at the top of the list of priorities and accept those valuable help visits, so that they support us with some of the typical things around the house, such as chores. of the home, which at this time we cannot attend.
Don’t be afraid to ask if you have doubts.
There are many things we do not know about the newborn, and it is completely normal! He is practically someone unknown, from whom we are learning little by little. But in terms of health, do not hesitate to consult the doctor if you notice something strange in the behavior or appearance of your baby.
Even if you feel that it is an absurd question or that it is something you “should” know, I assure you that your question is completely valid , and like you, dozens of parents have also come to the pediatrician with the same doubts about their baby.
It’s okay to disconnect from everything else
Caring for a newborn is one of the most demanding and absorbing responsibilities out there, and it is quite usual or normal for us to “get lost” in that world , especially during the first few months. And by getting lost, I mean disconnecting from the rest of the world.
You should not feel bad if during this adaptation stage you miss some things or are behind in news, both from the world and from your friends, you are getting to know your baby and recognizing yourself. There will be time for everything else .
Be kind to your body
This tip is specifically for mothers. Just as you were born again with your baby, your body also had a similar experience, going through one of the greatest transformations that exist .
It is normal that at the beginning you feel out of place or misplaced. Nothing looks like it used to, there are many things that hurt or are not as they used to be, but this is not a negative thing. Your body gave life! Remember to be nice to him , loving him as much as you loved your tummy when it carried your baby inside.
Don’t forget about yourself
I know that at this moment it is difficult to think of someone else other than the baby, but as I said some tips back, at this stage it is two people who matter and are priority: mother and baby.
So do not forget about yourself , just as you spent time for yourself in pregnancy, it is also advisable to do it at this stage. Ask for help to take care of your baby and delegate things, so that you can rest and pamper yourself from time to time.
Remember it’s just a stage
Finally, a tip that is more like a reminder, but that can be very useful with a newborn at home, especially on those long and eternal nights when you stay awake: it is only a stage.
Motherhood is not like postpartum, although now you may feel that you are not seeing things clearly and that this fourth trimester does not seem to have an end. I promise you it has, and when you least expect it, this newborn stage will be over , so remember to be patient and enjoy it.
Photos | iStock, Pexels
In Babies and more | 9 Things a Newborn Mom Wants Postpartum, The 11 Things New Parents Learn in the First Days
