The way we educate, or parenting style, influences the psychological and emotional development of our children. And it is that their well-being, their self-esteem and the way they have to bond, is built on the basis of education, love, limits, norms, support …
And, in short, with all those elements that we include on a day-to-day basis in their education.
But what else do we know about parenting styles? Are there different types of styles? What impact do these styles have on children’s development? We will tell you!
What are parenting styles?
The parenting style, also called parental style, is the way of raising and educating; it is also defined as ” the psychological construction represented by the strategies that parents use in raising the child .”
But we find more definitions; Dr. John Gotean defines this concept as ” the way parents react and respond to their children’s emotions .”
It is about a pattern of action that as parents we carry out in upbringing, and that encompasses a series of behaviors, emotions, attitudes and thoughts as parents, that we project in the education of children.
The way of educating has a great impact on the development, self-esteem and behavior of children. For this reason, it is important to attend to the educational style that we have to see what we can improve, promoting a positive parenting style that contributes to the well-being of the child.
Why are parenting styles important and what impact do they have on children’s development?
Everything that happens around us has an impact on us, especially during childhood. Thus, the parenting style, and the way in which parents care for, protect and interact with their children, is another element of the environment that has an impact on them.
In fact, it forms the basis of their social and emotional development , and this has a direct impact on the current and future well-being of the child. Depending on how we educate, and the attachment that we are feeling and establishing with our child, our child will feel in a certain way, either with himself or with others.
And in turn, this way of feeling conditions (and builds) their self-esteem and the way they bond with others, that is, to build social and affective relationships.
Types of parenting styles
Although each father and mother has their own way of educating, and the normal thing is that in our education we mix different educational styles , we can speak, broadly speaking, of four parenting styles:
Authoritarian educational style
This educational style is based on demand and inflexibility. Usually we talk about parents who set strict rules and limits and who do not take into account the opinion of their children.
If the rules are not followed exactly, punishment is applied. We speak of supervising parents, and often controlling ones; their children have to do what they say.
They may even use physical violence; Furthermore, they do not listen to their children, they are not very empathetic and their priority is that their children follow the rules that they establish. Dialogue with them is complicated, and they do not create a healthy emotional bond with their children .
Permissive educational style
In this case, we are talking about a parenting style in which the parents are very affectionate, but do not establish norms or limits (and if they do, they are unclear or incoherent).
They do not demand appropriate behaviors from their children. Thus, we go from one extreme (authoritarianism) to another (extreme permissiveness). Children are educated through whims , giving in and complying with their demands to avoid anger or tantrums, for example.
Democratic educational style
The democratic style would be the ideal if we want to promote healthy development in our children and good self-esteem. In this sense, it is the one that has the most positive and healthy impact on their development, as well as on the affective relationship they build with us.
But what is it based on? Basically, in building and fostering a warm, close, empathetic, respectful and kind relationship, from parent to child. Parents who follow this parenting style set clear, fair, and consistent rules and limits.
They are firm parents when it comes to complying with the rules , but without ceasing to be flexible and tolerant. In addition, they offer love, care, and care, and they listen to and understand their children’s opinions and feelings.
Negligent educational style
This parenting style is negative for the development of children , since it is characterized by the absence of limits and in extreme cases, by abuse. Affectivity towards children is absent.
Sometimes they are children who are raised by third parties (for example, grandparents, uncles …). In other words; parents are not involved in raising children and show disinterest in their development and education.
The importance of respectful parenting
It is clear that each of us will learn and develop their own way of educating. However, we must be clear that for this education to have a positive impact on our children, it must be a respectful education, based on understanding, love, respect and reciprocity.
Respectful parenting implies that parents consider their children a person with the same rights as adults; It is based on a love relationship that is established on the basis of respect and non-punitive limits.
That is, flexible and fair limits, which do not imply penalties or sanctions.
It is an upbringing where positive reinforcement predominates; in fact, it has been shown to be very suitable for promoting positive behaviors, strong and healthy self-esteem, and healthy psychological development.
In addition, it is a form of teaching that will allow the child to learn freely and explore their environment without fear.
“Education is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world.”
-Nelson Mandela-
Photos | Cover (pexels), Image 1 (pexels), Image 2 (pexels)
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