The death of a child, regardless of their age, is one of the most painful experiences that as mothers and fathers we can live. The story that we will share today is that of two mothers who met at the hospital where they were treating their daughters . Unfortunately, both babies died within days of each other.
The friendship Maddie Raspe and Maggie Bax formed helped them through their grief, and life would take a hopeful turn for them soon after when they both found out they were expecting a rainbow baby.
A friendship that is born in the midst of pain
Maddie and Maggie had seen each other for months at the hospital, occasionally greeting each other as they passed. The two had their daughters admitted to the Advocate Children’s Hospital in Illinois, United States for health problems present since the birth of their daughters.
Maddie’s daughter, Sterling, was born with hypoplastic left heart syndrome, Kabuki syndrome, and heterotaxy, a condition in which organs don’t align properly. Charlee, Maggie’s daughter, also had heterotaxy and, in addition, a congenital heart defect.
” The day we finally met was the day Sterling needed emergency surgery. There was a commotion at the time and I saw Maddie and her husband Kingsley in the hallway. I asked if everything was okay ,” says Maggie in an interview for Today Parents.
From that moment on, Maddie and Maggie began to keep an eye on each other, exchanging notes with their phone numbers through the hospital nurses. Those moments of support became very special for them, because being in the middle of a pandemic, visits to the hospital were very limited and although their families knew that the babies were very delicate, only the two of them were able to understand the particular situation that they were living .
Both families spent months in the hospital, supporting each other, listening to each other and on many occasions, crying on each other’s shoulders. Their company made a strong friendship born in the midst of so much uncertainty , which would eventually help them cope with the loss of their daughters.
Maddie’s daughter died at eight months of age on May 11, when her lungs suffered a complication from her illnesses. Maggie’s baby followed just nine days later, on May 20, at six months old. Both girls died in their mothers’ arms.
Two rainbow babies on the way
” When the girls were finally united in heaven, they immediately went to work on a plan so as not to leave their parents with empty arms and hearts ,” Maddie said in a post on her Instagram account.
Two months after laying off her daughters, Maddie received a text from Maggie, sharing that she was pregnant and freaking out. ” A month later, I returned the favor and told him I was pregnant and freaking out too. We are exactly four weeks apart ,” says Maddie.
Both took it as a work of their little ones, since neither of the couples planned to look for another baby soon: ” Here we are again, together in the same situation […] None of us were ready, but I also think that we would never feel ready. We know our girls and God had a hand in this, and I’m still in shock .”
For Maggie and Maddie it has been a roller coaster of emotions, because as we know, mothers who have experienced the loss of a baby receive the new pregnancy with great joy, but also with some fear. And this is where we again see the power of their friendship:
” …having someone you can relate to and talk to helps you not feel so alone or crazy. We’re both about to give birth and we still have a little work to do assimilating it all. But after experiencing such a significant loss, we have gained a beautiful and lasting friendship, including that of our children here on earth and in heaven […] I have no doubt, we were meant to meet .”
Maggie’s due date is March 18, while Maddie’s is exactly one month later. Meanwhile, they accompany each other in the final stretch of two pregnancies that have been emotionally charged.
Photos | Maddie Raspe and Maggie Bax (published with permission)
In Babies and more | The precious image of rainbow twins with the photograph in memory of their older sister, The precious and dazzling photo session of a pregnant mother of her rainbow baby
