If you are already a family of three, it is likely that you are thinking of giving your child a little brother or sister . Obviously the situation is not the same as with the first pregnancy. Time has passed (in some cases more, in others less) and you already have a child who demands all your energy. If the idea of parenting again is hanging around, we talk about when to seek a second pregnancy .
A little brother or sister is the most valuable gift you can give a child, but there are many factors that influence when deciding whether to go for the second .
Some reasons that can tip the balance one way or the other are the age of the mother and father, as well as the age of the older brother, financial situation, family pressures or other critical personal issues.
Mother’s age
As we know, women are mothers at increasingly advanced ages. In Spain, the majority have their first child after the age of 30 and 30 percent have their first child after the age of 35, meaning that it is very likely that if they decide to have a second baby, it would arrive after the age of 35.
Many women have them before, but the truth is that the biological clock does not stop and the chances of achieving pregnancy decrease significantly the older the woman is. From the age of 35, the chances of pregnancy are around ten percent and from the age of 40, 3 percent.
In other words, the woman’s age is a very important factor , both due to the chances of pregnancy and the complications that pregnancy and childbirth at certain ages can entail.
Many couples, after having the first baby, rush to have the second because they are already 40. The argument of some women who have delayed their motherhood and want to have a second child is “I am already an age, so the time is now or never” .
Father’s age
Not only do you have to take into account the biological age of the mother, the father’s is also important. Due to the added risks, just as the mother’s age is taken into account, the paternal age must also be considered when forming a family.
Much is said about maternal age-related complications of pregnancy and childbirth, but the paternal age at the time of conception is also important. Babies born to parents over 45 years of age are more likely to be premature and to have risks or complications during delivery, such as low birth weight.
The energy of parents
In addition to the biological age of the mother and father, energy must not be forgotten. Caring for a young baby demands a lot of energy from the parents. It is not advisable to face a second pregnancy with a discharged battery. Although we may take less care of ourselves in the second pregnancy, the second baby deserves our attention and care just as much as the first.
And I’m not just talking about the energy we need to take care of a child and a pregnancy because that is only the beginning. We must also think about the future , five or ten years from now, because children will continue to need us one hundred percent and in general the energies are not the same at 40 as at 50.
The age of the older brother
There are many theories about the age difference between siblings, but the truth is that there is no precise rule about when is the best time to have a second child, that depends a lot on the particular situation of each family
There are those who prefer to have their children very often and as soon as the postpartum is over, they go in search of the second. They choose to have the two children at a similar stage of development, thinking that they have the same affinities, play together and tend to more or less the same needs.
On the other hand, there are those who prefer to give full attention to one for the first five or six years, and then go for the second.
From the biological point of view, according to a meta-analysis on the birth interval (time between pregnancies) and perinatal complications, the optimal time is not less than 18 months (one and a half years) nor more than 59 months (almost 5 years) .
When the second pregnancy does not arrive
When looking for a baby brother, they usually have the same expectations as with the first pregnancy, believing that everything will be the same, but when the second child is slow to arrive it is a cause for great concern.
When a couple has difficulty conceiving after having a normal pregnancy, it is referred to as secondary infertility .
The causes of this type of sterility are usually advanced age, in the case of women, and a reduction in seminal quality, in the case of men.
If you have trouble getting pregnant again, see a specialist. If you are over 35 years old, and you have been having sex for more than six months without achieving pregnancy, it is time to consult a specialist.
In Babies and more | Eight testimonies of mothers who had children in a row and with little difference in age, My experience raising two children with little difference in age between them: it was difficult at first, but it was worth it
