When you find out that you are expecting a baby, one of the first reactions or ideas you may have is to immediately tell your family about it. And so they begin a series of preparations, advice and talks about the new member of the family. And a question that they will undoubtedly ask you will be his name.
In many cases, the name is the sole choice of the parents, but in some families there is already a particular name that has been used for several generations and is sometimes expected to continue to be used. But what if you don’t want to give it to your baby? Today I am talking about when it is you who breaks with your son the tradition of the family name .
A name as a family tradition
Just as there are some traditions to honor some members of the family, there are also other ways that have been taken as a tribute to someone in particular, and one of them is to give the new baby the same name .
Usually, this is a tradition that passes from father to son: if the father has a male child, they give him the same name, and if he later also has a male child, the tradition continues, causing that in several generations in a row someone bear the same name . The same goes for mothers and daughters.
In this way, that name acquires a very special value on an emotional level , and in addition to being a way of honoring a loved one, it becomes a tradition within the family and in many cases, it is expected that subsequent generations will continue to use it. .
But what if we don’t want to use it?
Well actually, nothing happens. While using a family name is a nice way to continue a tradition and pay special tribute to someone in the family, this does not mean that it must necessarily be used or that some kind of betrayal is being committed by not doing so.
There are many reasons why someone may choose to break the tradition of the family name , from the fact that they do not feel identified with the person to whom they pay homage (in the case of families that continue to repeat the name they used for the first time great-great-grandfather, for example) or simply because they don’t like the name.
It is possible that even if the family does not say anything or even realize that they have not continued the tradition, if there are some people who take offense or take it badly, which could result in a somewhat uncomfortable situation for the parents of the baby who it’s on its way .
But we must keep something in mind: choosing a baby’s name is not something we should take lightly and there are many things to take into account. But undoubtedly the most important is the opinion and desire of the future parents, and if they are not comfortable with one option, they can choose another .
Simply put: everyone has the right and freedom to choose the name they wish to give their child , without this being taken as something negative by not continuing the tradition of the family name. If it is followed, it is nice, if not, too.
My experience breaking the tradition of the family name
In my case and personal experience, it could be said that I had to be the one who broke or interrupted that line , although we do not carry a long list of generations with a family name, as in other families in which they reach “Fulanito VI”.
My name is the same as my mother, I suppose it is because I am her first daughter and she wanted to give me the same name that they gave her. Except for those occasions when we do not know which of the two they are talking to, it does not bother me that we call each other the same because I like my name, but it was never in my plans to give a daughter my name. It wasn’t denied either but I never really thought of it as an option .
When I decided to give my daughter a totally different name, my mother did make a comment to me, mostly jokingly, although I did notice a certain tension when I felt that perhaps I had disappointed her. But she accepted and respected my decision, because choosing the name is something that corresponds only to the parents of the baby .
If we want to include the family to help us make that decision and choose between all of us a name that we like, it is also totally valid , but it is very different from wanting to impose something on the desire of the parents.
So while continuing the family name tradition is something special, it doesn’t mean that not doing so is a bad thing or the family is not considered. Simply in tastes we all have different opinions and the name of the new member of the family should not be a reason for discussion, but one more element of the great joy that is to come.
Photos | iStock
