When mom is pregnant again and a new baby will arrive in the family in the coming months, many questions arise about how the older brother will take it.
The arrival of a new member to the family is a revolution for the older brother. Parents often wonder how they will take the birth of a little brother, if they will be surprised, affected by the change, if they will feel jealous… To a lesser or greater extent it is possible that all these things happen, because with the The arrival of a baby changes the family dynamics and structure, so it is logical that children experience it as a very delicate moment in their lives.
How can we help, from our role as parents, so that this accumulation of questions, of doubts, of intermingled and intimate feelings that our eldest son experiences, obtain an answer that is as simple and clear as possible? How can we prepare the child for the arrival of a baby?
How and when to tell
It is a very personal decision, but the most common is to wait, out of prudence, for the first trimester of pregnancy to pass, and the tummy begins to show. However, it is also not convenient for the whole family environment to know about it and the child does not, that due to an oversight he may find out and believe that it has been hidden from him. It depends a lot on the age and maturity of the older child.
Regarding how to tell him, it has to be in a simple way , with clear words and showing affection at all times. If he is very young, books can be a great help because he can see through the stories and illustrations what is going to happen. .
Involve him in the preparations for his arrival
It is convenient to make them participate in the pregnancy , showing them the ultrasounds, that they accompany us to the gynecologist, that they choose some clothes for the baby, participate in the decoration of the room or the adaptation of the house… When it is born, make it also participate in the care of the baby with small collaborations like handing you diapers or helping you bathe him.
Talk to the baby in the belly
It is also nice that the brothers start a relationship since the baby is still in the mother’s womb. You can make him feel the little kicks he gives when he caresses his belly, speaks to him or sings to him from the outside.
This communication will make the child feel that the baby who is on the way is a reality and that he will soon be able to see his face.
Spend time exclusively
Don’t forget that your older child still needs physical contact with you. Think that you will only be able to reassure him by showing him your affection often , showing him that you love him the same as always and that you have not forgotten him. Cover him with kisses and hugs whenever you can.
Answer all your questions
Surely the child will have many doubts about the pregnancy. How did the little brother get there? How is it growing? How do you breathe? How will he get out of there? Dialogue with him, do not avoid his questions or concerns and answer all his doubts with simple words , always according to his age and level of understanding.
Prepare for delivery
Another issue that will have to be discussed with the older brother is the time of delivery, since he will probably have to stay with relatives and spend a day or a couple of days without seeing his mother. You have to choose in advance the people who will take care of the child, with whom the child feels comfortable.
listen to their feelings
Encourage your son to talk about how he feels about the arrival of the little brother. If they are very young they will not be able to, but as soon as they develop a certain linguistic ability they can try it. It is important that you feel heard and that we support you. We can give a name to what he feels or tries to explain to us (fear, fear, jealousy…) telling him that it is normal for him to have contradictory feelings at times.
Reassure him about the future
Never threaten him with atrocities like “You’ll see how things change when you have a little brother. It’s over always doing your holy will! This type of cruel and senseless comments arouses in the child an unhealthy feeling of hatred.
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In Babies and more | Nine tips to avoid the jealousy of the older brother before the arrival of the little brother
