During pregnancy, we spend months imagining what our baby will be like, caressing our belly that grows every day and waiting for the great moment of delivery, in which we can finally hold him in our arms.
But what if it doesn’t? Although it’s always exciting to meet the baby, many pregnant women fear the moment of birth. We talk to you about the fear of childbirth : when instead of being excited, you feel terrified.
Childbirth: an unknown experience
For many women, childbirth is something exciting and eagerly awaiting, but for others it is something that causes them a lot of fear. And it is that if we see it as it is, and with everything that involves giving birth, of course it can be something that causes us many feelings, including nerves, fear and doubts .
This happens mainly in the case of new mothers, being the first time that they will live a totally unknown experience , which will result in the birth of their baby, and in a great transformation of their body and their life.
On the other hand, there is the case of those who have already had a first delivery, but it was a very negative or traumatic experience , which left them with a bad taste in their mouths and no desire to go through the same situation again.
Also, there are very extreme cases (although rare) where fear turns into a phobia , and there we would be talking about tocophobia, an irrational fear of pregnancy and childbirth. In this situation, it is advisable to seek professional help with a psychologist to guide us to overcome it.
Why are we afraid of childbirth?
As I have mentioned, the main reason why women are afraid of childbirth is because it is an unknown experience, but above all, because it is unpredictable and not knowing what exactly will happen during it .
Within the “fear of childbirth”, there are several common fears that can run through the mother’s mind : how long will it last? Will it hurt a lot? Will my baby be okay? I will be able to do it? What if something goes wrong? How will I feel afterwards? Will I be able to take care of him while I recover?
In the case of those who will be mothers for the second or third time (or whatever), the main fear that usually arises is related to their delivery or previous deliveries , because if they had a bad experience, they are afraid of going through the same thing again , or if it was regular, there is a fear that it will be worse than the previous one.
In both cases, there is a common factor: fear of the unknown . The truth is that although childbirth is unpredictable and there is no infallible way to be totally sure that everything will go as expected, we must not allow our imagination to go to the negative side.
Why shouldn’t we give birth in fear
Although it is “normal” to feel some fear about the moment in which our baby will finally be born, giving birth in fear is not recommended, since this emotion is usually something that does not stop, it paralyzes us. And this is not something that can help during labor , quite the opposite.
The problem with feeling fear is that our body tenses, causing our muscles to stiffen and making it difficult to deliver our baby, making even labor more painful and less easy than it could be if we felt relaxed.
How to overcome the fear of childbirth
One of the best weapons against fear is information. Attending childbirth preparation classes or consulting all the doubts you have with your gynecologist will help you get a clear idea of what you can expect during childbirth and they can also give you some tips so that you feel calmer.
In addition to informing you to arrive at your birth with a realistic mindset and open expectations, something that also helps a lot to control or reduce the fear of childbirth, is to learn relaxation techniques that you can use during it .
For example, something that helps a lot to calm the nerves during labor is to feel accompanied , either by your partner or someone you trust whom you have chosen to be by your side.
Learning certain relaxation techniques, such as controlling breathing to help us better manage the pain of contractions, practicing muscle relaxation techniques and listening to relaxing music, will also help us to feel less fear and nervous during labor . In the case of fear of pain, fortunately today there are several ways to help us control it, such as epidural anesthesia.
Remember: not all births are the same
In addition to being a natural feeling when facing something unknown that will change our lives, it often happens that the fear of childbirth increases after hearing “horror stories” of childbirth in which something did not go as expected or that turned out to be traumatic experiences .
However, we must remember that just as each pregnancy is unique, so is each delivery . Just as there are women who had painful or traumatic births, there are also others who had wonderful births. The fact that someone else or you have had a bad delivery does not mean that the same thing will happen this time.
In my personal experience, being afraid of childbirth is normal (unless it turns into a phobia or something that upsets us too much), but we must remember that, in addition to the fact that millions of women have done it, in the end it will give us the best gift : our baby.
Photos | iStock
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